over and over and over again.

Dear Google Reader Recommendations,

You honestly do suck, coz no matter how many times I politely say No Thanks to your recommendations, a few days or even weeks later, the same shite pops up in my recommendations list. You're like a broken record, now scoot.

Fen.

I'm supposed to be updating my resume. So far I've swept the back yard, done some gardening, played with the cat, collected the mail (no threadless tshirt parcel boo) and shuffled about. I have updated some of it, but oh it's so tedious.

I think I'll fix my nailpolish soon, the black is starting to chip off!!

technofen

Ooh blimey, i changed my template and stuffed things up, ah well, time for a change maybe.  I also tried putting google analytics into my template but not sure if that's worked.  The older I get the less able I am to do complicated technological thingamajigs.

I'm also debating spending money on a vacuum cleaner of all things. Ew. But I really do need one.  I'll add it to the list of things Fen does need.  

It's cold, where'd summer piss off to?

I've not been sleeping well lately, last night I slept soundly for an hour then woke up around 2am just in time to listen to Trever Chappel's overnights program for the next 3 hours! Ridiculous. Not his show, my lack of sleep. I even sent in an sms that got read out on air! LOL! Insomniacs unite.

Finished, done, completed, IT'S OVER!!!

Today I wrapped up my final day of clinical placement at St V's.  It was the perfect way to end it really, my longest term patient and her family had some really uplifting news they shared with me and then told me how much my support had meant to them.  They gave me their number and told me to keep in contact.  I felt teary as I said goodbye to them, it was really sweet.

I feel kinda weird knowing I won't be going back visiting all those patients.  It's been a really fabulous year and I've learned so very much.  In the last few months I've really felt like everything has just clicked and that all that I've got in my head finally makes sense and actually works!  I relaxed into the role and really benefited from the whole experience.

So this means I am now a fully qualified counsellor/psychoanalyst!  BLIMEY!  Let me at yer headz!

I'm very much looking forward to being able to earn some proper money.  I desperately have to update my resume, I've not touched it in about 4 years!  Then I'll start looking at what jobs are out in the big wide world again, can't wait for the day when I can hand my resignation in where I am now.  WOW!

In celebration I came home and had a Nanna nap, I'm so very hardcore these days.

Torchwood is back!!! YAY!

Apparently Season 4 of Torchwood has been commissioned and it will have 13 episodes.

I'm rather excited at that news (and scarily a Torchwood ad just popped up on the telly).  I wonder what direction they'll take it after the dark and edgy Season 3 - Children of Earth.  I wonder who will replace Ianto.  Wonder wonder wonder.  It will all be revealed soon.  

Hip-hip-hooray!

shutdown

You know, I always start to shut down around this time of year.  Emotionally that is.  I just realised today that I'm doing it again.  I deliberately don't make plans to go out, I become more of a hermit if that is at all possible.

Why... the main reason is my Mum, or the fact that she's not in my life anymore.  It's been nearly 8 years now and you know what, it doesn't really get any easier, nothing will change the fact that I watched her die in front of me and ever since then I've felt a big black hole inside of me.  Or that since then I find myself keeping people at arms length, not letting anyone in, in case they hurt me or worse still, leave me.

It's a shitty way to live, but I do it, not because I want to, but because my subconscious works that way.  I know all about it, I should do after studying counselling for 4 years.  But I just can't or won't change it.

Another reason is my friends, or lack thereof.  Most of my best friends are far away, Germany, UK, Perth... it doesn't make for good socialising material really.  I do have some good friends here however most of them are still going out and getting plastered, something I gave up long ago for the good of my ailing liver and my sanity.  Been there, done that, well and truly over it.  I feel like such a Nanna.  Doesn't anyone do BBQ's and afternoon teas anymore?

Christmas and New Years just isn't the same when you're not surrounded by those you love.

overnights

I've been working the overnight shift, from 8.30pm - 6.30am the last few nights.  I've been finding it fairly easy, I am a night owl after all.  However sleeping during the day is a bit weird.

Thankfully the house is dead quiet during the day, apart from when TheMoo drops in to check up on me.  I don't think she's too happy being cooped up in the house til I get home at 7am, but she's doing okay.  We were both curled up on the bed together this afternoon, snoozing blissfully, when a storm rolled by.  It didn't seem too close when all of a sudden there was a flash of lightning and mammoth crash of thunder all at once.  TheMoo and I both fell out of bed together!!!  I tend to sleep in 2-3 hour grabs during the day, so after the storm whizzed by I fell into slumber mode again.  Tonight is my last night for a little while doing overnights, I've got more coming up around Christmas and New Year. 

I finish my placement at St V's next week...it's a strange feeling... this means that I will have successfully completed my counselling degree.  Blimey.  I keep thinking that maybe I should look for a counselling job, but it all seems a bit much right now!  I think I'll stick to what I can do with my eyes closed for a little while, then throw myself into the search.  Ideally I'd have a holiday, alas being a poor student for 4 years means I have no savings, hence no holiday.  Never mind.

I think I'll attempt to drag my sleepy arse to the Vic Market in the morning.  I'm full of good intentions now, at 2.35am, however give it another 4 hours and I may just want to get home asap.  I caught the tram today as when I rode home this morning it was pouring the whole way and I got soaked to the bone, didn't want a repeat performace.  Besides which I'm tired and thought I'd give my legs a rest!

That's it from me, my ramblings from work.  Oh yeah they gave me internets at work finally, coz I'm doing these shifts.  HOORAY!!!

it's been a while

Not much has been happening in the world of Fen of late.  Just working and doing my clinical placement, which is thankfully drawing to an end.

Not that I don't like it, but it's a lot of (unpaid) time out of my week, time that I could be doing my paid job in!  I've done an overnighter at work and have 4 more coming up, the dosh will come in handy that's for sure.

Tamika has been bringing me lots of presents lately, these are in the form of huge leaves from the rubber tree next door.  Usually she puts them on her mat or at my bedroom door, however 2 nights ago she was in the bad books, so she carefully placed one on my pillow, next to my head and woke me up with her joyous meowing!

She makes me laugh so much, little ratbag.  At least she's not bringing me live presents!

I watched Doctor Who - The Waters of Mars yesterday and without giving any spoilers away - OH MY GOODNESS!  A fabulous episode, chilling, nerve wracking and brilliant all at once.  And the trailers for Christmas - goose bumps all over!!

Sydney Rd in the news!

So a couple of days ago someone burned an internet cafe down on Sydney Rd.  I walked past there today and 3 shops are affected, the internet cafe is gutted.  The stench of burning is still in the air, hopefully they can rebuild asap.

Then this afternoon a medical centre collapsed across Sydney Rd.  They'd been doing work next door and it seems they damaged the structural integrity of the building and it toppled over.  Thankfully no one was in it at the time.  I wandered up there this evening to have a look, along with everyone else.  They began pulling it down as I was leaving.





Also an elderly man got hit by a tram near Moreland Rd today, thankfully it was going at snails pace and he suffered a cut.

What next huh?

captured

We've had 2 nights of storms and I've been loving it.  Last night I set up my tripod and camera on the balcony, crossed my fingers and hoped for the best.  I was lucky enough to capture this:



I wish we had more storms, they're so much fun!!!

Doctor Who - Waters of Mars - Airdate announced (UK)

So, the beginning of the end for David Tennant as the Doctor draws nearer with the announcement of the airing date of Doctor Who's Water of Mars episode.

Who knows when it will air here in Australia, I know I'll be procuring it from some magical whereabouts and will watch it as soon as it arrives.

I've been waiting impatiently for these last 3 episodes all year and now it's getting closer I'm so very torn about DT leaving.  However I am excited to see what Matt Smith will bring to the role, the shots and snippets I've seen so far of filming have been interesting. 

I am also looking forward to seeing John Simm return in the final two parter, rumoured to air on Christmas Day and New Years Day, as well as some other old favourites. 

vein fail

I really dislike humid weather.  It makes my hair manky.  The end!

But wait, there's more...I had my follow up CT scan on my liver today, 3 months on from my last one.  Though I was beginning to think it would never happen!  They inject a contrast dye into your veins and take a picture as the dye surges through the liver, to check out the whatnots.  However finding a vein on any part of my body was proving a tad difficult.  First the regular guy tried the back of my hand, after failing to find a vein on my arm.  Unfortunately he couldn't get the canula in far enough and had to abort that spot.  So then he called in the radiologist, I lovely man who I had an instant crush on and suddenly didn't mind that this could be the longest scan of my life.  He then tried my arm and my wrist, to no avail.  So I shuffled off to the ultrasound room where he comandeered a portable ultrasound machine and skillfully discovered a vein that way.  Of course I made him show me how it all worked along the way, any excuse to have a chat!

So needly thing in, I said farewell to my new radiologist lust and shuffled back to the CT scan room.  I was so glad they found me a dressing gown to hide my bare arse that was peeking out of the awesome hospital gown!  Not so lucky was the old man who paraded his armpit undies for the world to see!

Then it was into the machine, dye injected and was all over in about 10 minutes.  Hooray.  It only took an hour and a half longer than it should.  I didn't really care though, all the people were lovely and it wasn't their fault my veins are rubbish.

Test results will be back next week then I get to find out what the next step is.  I'm pushing for surgery, end of story :)

gig time.... soon

Hot new music coming up and an album launch to kick it all off with:

Lychee Martini are launching their long-awaited debut CD EP, simply entitled 'Volume 1'

An immaculate blend of funk, dub and deep grooves, produced by Christian Scallan and the band, Volume 1 shows that Lychee Martini are not only an amazing live act, but also a gifted group of songwriters and arrangers who craft beautiful sounding recordings.


Lychee Martini is a group that fuses dance and Latin grooves, dub ambience and beautiful melodies with a jazz sensibility.

I've been following lead singer Nicole since way back when. From my band groupie days, when I used to go out 5 nights a week, oh those were the days. *dabs misty eyes* She used to front a cover band called Supernova, they covered bands such as Tool, Faith No More etc.  Amazing stuff.  I was hooked.  Still am.

I can't wait for this launch and I thoroughly recommend everyone else attending too, I can guarantee you'll be impressed.

smashed

I heard or read somewhere that the new ticket machines for the Myki ticketing system were bullet proof.  Obviously they're not idiot proof however.

This is the second time I've seen this happen to the machine on the city bound side of Brunswick station.  I don't even go to the station that often, so it could have happened more often than twice.

As far as I'm concerned this adds more weight to the manning of stations argument (or is it peopling in this ridiculous PC world!?).

That and the fact that the front of the station has become a urinal, with a constant stream of piss travelling over the path, it's disgusting.  I see, and smell, that often, as I whizz past on my bike.  Gross.

4am fun

When I got home from work at midnight, I let the cat out and I noted that the hot water service was on, boiling away madly.  I did think it weird at the time, give that everyone else was in bed, but I was tired and didn't give it a second thought.

Fast forward to now, 4am.  I got up for an annoying middle of the night wee and realised that the hot water service is STILL on, so I go outside for further investigation.  Yup, it's on alright and it's spewing out hot water and boiling itself silly.  Part of me wanted to go back to bed and pretend it didn't exist, but the logical me won over.  I pulled the face plate off the system and turned the gas off, then went out the front and turned the water off as it was still running freely out of the system.

Now I'm waiting for someone to answer my "emergency call".  HAH!

centrelink are twats

So I get a letter today from the arseholes at Centrelink:

I'd like to point out their logo, or more specifically the giving you options tag line.

I'm sorry but I've been given NO OPTIONS WHATSOEVER. Just a shitty 3 line letter, no explanation, nothing.  What the fuck am I meant to know from this letter, am I meant to be a mind reader or a psychic?

And given that it's Friday night I have the whole weekend to stew on this.  Just brilliant.

I pity the poor twat that gets me on Monday morning, I am going to rip someone a new one.  I was due a payment on Monday, a grand shitty total of about $250 for the fortnight, but this is the difference between me eating and me going without food.  At the moment I shall be going without food.

Fucking ridiculous.  Hooray for me.

little presents

A few days ago (exact number hazy due to old age brain fade) I tipped myself out of bed, wrapped myself in my dressing gown and popped on my slippers (yes, I am a Nanna), then shuffled down the stairs.  I was greeted by what seemed to be a large mouse or small rat, standing on my lounge room carpet.  Me being typically ungirly, I went straight up to it and poked it to see if it were alive.  Rigor mortis had set in, so I put it out the back door while my morning attempt at waking up and getting ready continued.

I now had a reason for TheMoo's excited announcements that had occurred sometime in the wee hours.  I had merely waved my hand at her and told her shush about 10 times before she gave up.  She'd not eaten it, so it seemed she'd merely played with it to death, then given up when it ceased moving and hence being any fun.


TheMoo checking if her toy was going to magically come back to life!

This morning I got up, and feeling ever so slightly energetic, I decided to play fetch with TheMoo and her favourite nobbly blue bouncy ball - it's her numero uno favourite toy in the world, just ahead of the two dark purple hair elastics that she stole from me.  However I could not find said ball anywhere and after searching in all the usual places, I figured it may have rolled under the couch.

So I lifted up the couch.

Out shot a clone of the mouse/rat that was on my lounge room floor the other morning, much to the astonishment of both TheMoo and myself.  I stood for a few seconds, morning brain trying desperately to register what was going on, then I shouted at TheMoo to get it.  She ambled over and poked at it with her paw and it ran back under the couch that I'd put back down.  Repeat lifting of couch and this time the mouse/rat ran over towards the front door and bottom of the stairs.  I watched TheMoo and concluded that she was useless, she seemed intent on playing only, there was going to be no actual catching of her new live toy.  So I went and grabbed a container to trap the animal in.  By this time TheMoo had chased the flipping thing the whole way up the stairs and it was scurrying along her cat tunnel, with her in hot pursuit.  She popped out the end, however the mouse/rat was still in it.  I told her to get back in there and she flushed it out the other end whereby it ran into the now empty bedroom.  I hot footed it in there, with TheMoo following closely behind, trapped it in my container and let it out once I was safely outside.

Of course TheMoo spent the next half an hour searching for her live toy, much to my amusement and her disdain.  Once again, I realised that TheMoo had alerted me to her new friend in the wee hours and once again I'd dismissed her!

I wonder where these little creatures are coming from, we've not had any sort of pest problem since living here, I rarely even see spiders.  Even my favourite spider above the front door was killed off by my last personality free flatmate.

In other news, my new flatmates arrived and moved in today and so far they're lovely.  I think things should work out well.  It's nice to have people who are genuinely interested in finding out about the area, what is where, etc.  The last excuse for a flatmate, apart from not having more than about 3 conversations in total with me, didn't seem to care about the richness that is Brunswick. 

And OMG, one more week of uni to go, then all i have to do is finish my placement hours and I'M FREAKIN' WELL DONE.  OMGWTFBBQ!?!?!!!

*yawn*

What a day!

Lately I seem to wake up between 5-5.30am no matter what, even daylight savings didn't stop my 5am routine.  I generally listen to the end of Trevor Chappells' Overnights program and if I'm still awake, I listen to the start of Red Symons' slot.  Hopefully I return to sleep within the hour, however it's not guaranteed.  Of course this morning I woke up at 5.30am and my ever so considerate (now ex) flatmate decided to get up at 6.30am.  God knows why, she spent hours last night packing all her shit up, she didn't go to bed til after 11pm.  The removalists arrived at around 8.15am and got straight to work.  They were the smelliest, most unwashed men I've come across.  Even stinky B.O. commuters have nothing on these two.  My whole house stunk of revolting underarms in no time.  I got ready for work and pissed off out of there as quickly as I could, I wanted nothing of it all.

I now have about a week to myself before the girls move in, yay alone time!

My day at the hospital was manic and draining, lots of grief and pain.  I also got to meet some awesome people and catch up with long term patients.  I think I'll be in bed early tonight, I'm already fading fast!

back in time

I dunno what's going on in my head recently, but I keep dreaming of, or suddenly thinking of all these people from my past.  People I knew, old friends, acquaintances, colleagues.  It's kinda doing my head in a bit.  I've tried to stalk them on the internet, but most of them weren't really tech savvy and my efforts thus far have been fairly futile. 

Maybe my subconscious is living in the past, having a bit of a reminisce.

Maybe I just need to get a life!!!

There's a show on SBS at the moment about weed.  I just want to roll a bit fat jay and slip into alternate Fen world.  Oooh I wish!

Oh yeah, forgot to add, the new Doctor Who logo was revealed in the UK today, I quite like it.  Of course the internets is full of divided opinions and haters, but I say eff you to the haters.  Go jump.

island getaway

I spent the last 2 nights down on Phillip Island, at my sisters place overlooking Sunderland Bay.

It's a fabulous house with amazing views of the ocean.  There's something so very soothing about the pounding of the waves, 10 minutes standing watching the waves and I feel happy.  I could have sat on the rocks all day long and been happy just watching the waves roll in.  However there were other distractions to keep me occupied too.

One was Zarli, my sisters' dog.  She's a staffy x ridgeback and she's got a lovely temperament.  I always enjoy hanging out with Zars.  She's cheeky and likes to push the boundaries, but ultimately she's pretty laid back, even if her farts make your eyes water lol.

She slept with me, on a cushion next to my mattress on the floor.  It made me happy.

Then there was the winery that we had a delicious lunch at - The Purple Hen Winery.  We had a cheese and antipasto platter and were so full that we had to go on a long walk through the Rhyll mangrove boardwalk!  It's always fabulous to hang out with my sister, I always come away wishing that we could spend more time together.  She's grown into such a lovely young lady.  She's going away with her man next year, for a year or more and I'm going to miss her terribly. *sniffle*

I wished I could've stayed down there longer, however it just wasn't possible.  I dragged my feet this morning as I packed all my stuff up.  I'd have preferred to have sat on the rocks all day than come back to the city and it's hustle and bustle.  Maybe I need a seachange!

The rest of my pics, as usual, can be found here.

if pain persists, please see your doctor

Ooh my liver is giving me grief.  Lots of pain the last few days, today it semi hurts to breathe.  I can't wait til my next scan... I want this resolved asap.

Today was rather freezing, so I tucked up inside with the heater on and watched the Grand Final with TheMoo.  It was an exciting, close match.  I wanted the Saints to win but I have a soft spot for Geelong too, so I wasn't that fussed.  Halfway through the final quarter I had to go do some housework coz the tension was too much and when I came back the difference was one point!  Of course as everyone now knows Geelong were the best team on the day and ended up winning by 2 goals.  I had tears seeing the Saints boys cry.

In flatmate news, I found a new flatmate, well flatmates actually.  I'll be having a lesbian couple move in in a couple of weeks and I'm well excited. 

I'm going to the island to visit my sister next week and I can't wait.  I've not seen her new place, apparently it's pretty cool.  There have been whales sighted, she has seen them from her balcony, I'm hoping we get to see some too.  By we, I mean Harvey and I.  He's coming down with me, should be lovely.