dust between the wires

Stent time

2012-02-10T11:19:00.000+11:00

Yesterday I had my planned visit to the hospital, to have my stent fitted into my liver via ERCP. The placement of the stent is to hopefully stop the bile leak that the drain was meant to cease (but didn't). The stent goes from my liver to my pancreas (I think) and then drains out via my duodenum.

I had to be in by 7am, so poor Dad had to stay the night as he was driving me in. I was taken in straight away to get changed into my backless gown (though these days you also get a dressing gown, so that's do-able) and to run through all the checks and informationals. I was second on the list so I read some articles in a Vanity Fair until it was my turn (Courtney Love really is a messed up werido eh).

I was lying in the anaesthetic room with the lovely registrar trying to find a vein. 15 mins and 3 attempts later he gave up and called in an anaesthetist. Poor guy, he was so sweet but my veins are just so uncooperative! The last I remember was around 10:15am, then a vague memory of someone putting something to rest my arm next to and them putting something in my mouth, presumably to feed the scope down. I know that for the majority of the procedure I was face down in the "swimmers" position (right arm up over my head and left arm almost across my back) but I wasn't aware of any of that going on (phew). I woke up in recovery feeling snoozy and happy to be done.

I cat napped on and off and was allowed to go home after a few hours. My old supervisor from palliative care dropped in to see me, which was fabulous, she's a complete darling. So it all went well and now I just have to wait out the next few days to see if anything untoward happens. Unfortunately I still have the drain bag in situ, hopefully this will be removed in 2 weeks. I have a pretty sore back, not sure if this is because they pump you full of air during the procedure or from something else, but it's not very comfy right now.

I keep meaning to write a big post about the complete incompetency of Jetstar, but that will have to wait for another day, maybe if it ever gets resolved.

Cross your bits this is the end of the road for my dodgy liver issues!

Doctor Who Symphonic Spectacular

2012-02-05T10:47:00.000+11:00

When I first saw this advertised, months and months ago, I just knew I HAD to go. So I was excited when they finally released tickets in about September and I got them 3 rows from the front. But it seemed like ages away.

That ages away was last night and after the month I've had it was therapeutic to get out and enjoy myself, forgetting about my health problems for a few hours.

I met up with my friends C & H in the city, we walked to Southbank to get some food and to enjoy the Summery atmosphere. I ate the most rubbish sushi ever, I wish I knew the name of the place so I could tell everyone to stay away. It was overpriced, undersized and the seaweed was old and chewy. I couldn't finish it. The gelati I had afterwards made up for it however! It was a gorgeous night after a hot day, Melbourne was looking beautiful.

I've not been to anything in the Melbourne Convention Exhibition Centre other than big trade shows. The Plenary is a wonderful space with interesting design and a good feel to it.

We entered the arena and made our way to our seats. I was feeling chuffed with how close we were to the stage!

view to the front

view behind

The show was all I expected it to be and then some. The music was phenomenal, the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra was tight and sounding marvellous, led by the talented conductor Ben Foster. It was a journey through the last 2 seasons, experiencing the highs and lows all over again, at times I felt emotional or had goosebumps, it was breathtaking. There were appearances by the Doctor Who monsters and the night was MC'ed by Mark Sheppard who played the young version of Canton Delaware.

After the show I got to meet and have my photo taken with conductor Ben Foster. I've always admired Ben, so it was a real pleasure to get to meet him (and laugh at his expression in the photo!!)

All in all it was a magnificent night and I'm so very glad I didn't miss it and was able to live out a dream. Bring on my next surgery mofo's. I'm ready!!

sigh

2012-01-31T05:28:00.002+11:00

It's 5am and I'm not sure I've even slept tonight. I took some tramadol before I went to bed and I feel like I've been in a half awake, half dream state all night.

So roll back 24 hours and I woke up around 5am again with the all too familiar shard of glass feeling in my drain area. I immediately got up and got my medical supplies and removed my bag. My stitch that holds the drain in was infected and bleeding ever so slightly, so I removed it. The area around my drain also contained a red nasty lump, it didn't look good. I cleaned it all up, McGyver'ed some sticky stuff to stop my drain falling out and attached a new bag. Then I had breakfast and went to work.

At some stage I got around to ringing the hospital and the nurse immediately booked me into the clinic that afternoon, telling me off for removing my stitch. Whatevs lady, it's done.

My appointment was for 2.30, I got in close to 4.30pm. Thankfully it was Pia, the ever so nice registrar. It was all I could do not to cry, I was so frustrated. Pia agreed that the drain wasn't doing its job and asked if she could book me in for an ERCP (Endoscopic retrograde cholangiopancreatography) to have a stent put in my liver ASAP. I was dubious, I want it done, however I also have the Doctor Who Symphonic Spectacular on Saturday night. I've already missed my trip to Sydney and there's no way in hell I want to miss this. I voiced my concerns and Pia empathised, saying that they really needed to sort out my liver. I signed the consent forms and Pia will ring me in the next couple of days, she wants to get me in for day surgery this week. I'm so torn, I want it done but if I miss this it will just add to an already spectacularly shit year.

Not to mention the fact that I have NO sick leave and every day off costs me more and more money, not to mention the fact that I feel like I am letting down my clients in a big way.

Pia said she could not take the drain out, but she said she would not stitch it back in. She told me that even after I have the ERCP I will still have the bag/drain, to make sure that the stent is working. Not sure how long that will be for.

I just want all of this to be fixed and done with. I've had enough, which is an understatement.

So I guess now I wait for my phone call to let me know whether they can fit me in this week or not. Joy.

EDIT: Pia called me Wednesday night to ask if I would come in today, Thursday to have my ERCP. I told her no and made up a white lie. I have a big weekend planned and I AM NOT missing out for ANYTHING. So I'm having it done next Thursday now. I should be able to hang on til then :)

Sunday Relaxation

2012-01-22T17:13:00.000+11:00

I've sort of been putting off updating my blog, because I'm scared if I speak too soon things will turn to shit as they did earlier this week.

So picking up from where I left off, Wednesday rolled around and I'd spent a night of pain and fevers and I just knew this wasn't turning out quite as I had imagined. I rang my Dad and he came and picked me up and we headed into St Vincent's Emergency Department. I was triaged and didn't have to wait overly long before I was in my little cubicle, being shot up with morphine, having blood tests and cultures taken (where they put your blood into what look like tiny little viniagrette bottles) and being well looked after. I still had a mild fever and was lying under 3 blankets and feeling miserable. Though the morphine, once I stopped feeling woozy, did make it all seem a little easier to handle.

That was until they decided I had to drink some of that disgusting licorice tasting contrast stuff and have a CT scan done. Last time that stuff made me throw up! I also came to the fairly obvious conclusion that I was not going to be well enough to catch my flight to Sydney the following morning. (But hopefully Jetstar will stick to their word and give me vouchers so I can fly again soon).

I drank the mixture, had my scan, waited for result. Eventually the mob who look after me came by and told me that nothing untoward had shown up on the scan but that I had infection and that I would need to be kept in for a couple of days and be given IV antibiotics etc to clear it up.

I look impressed, no?

So around midnight a bed finally became available on my old ward, 7 East, and up I went.

The whole next day I pretty much slept, that's how horrible I felt. I would open my eyes for my obs and then fall back into a weird coma/sleep. I also discovered I couldn't keep food down after dinner that night, so was given the start of regular anti nausea injections (not that they did any good, I didn't keep anything down whilst I was in hospital!).

I finally got the okay to come home on Friday afternoon. I was loaded up with a million pills this for this, that to counteract this, etc etc. I was still tired and lethargic, but feeling much better than Wed & Thurs.

The best thing was I was home for my sister's return to South Africa, which was so lovely to see her again. It's been super sweet having her in my house, and even though she's busting to get back in her own house, I wish I could hang on to her. I've really missed her.

So it's a day at a time for me at the moment. I'm definitely not going to work tomorrow, it is taking me until after midday to feel like doing anything much at the moment, so tomorrow will be out. I'll see how I go. Shit thing is I'm well out of sick leave and I don't have heaps of annual leave to use. This being sick malarky is time consuming and expensive!

Now I have to catch up on everyone else's blogs :)

Tuesday (struggletown)

2012-01-17T15:10:00.001+11:00

So it has been a strain of a week, and it's only Tuesday. I'm struggling big time.

I went to the specialists on Monday and was told they couldn't take the drain out as it wasn't dry blah blah blah. Needless to say, I was angry. They did however give me a new bag, which is a stoma bag. My specialist looked like a better looking version of Rob Brydon, I kept expecting silly witticisms to pop out of his mouth.

Rob Brydon

I'm really annoyed because I only agreed to this surgery coz they told me I'd be okay to go to Sydney, with no lasting effects, ba booow, wrong. At least I've not got the big dangly bag, but I still can't wear a bikini. And the current bag has a hole they've cut to put the drain in, and it is large enough that some of the bile comes into contact with my skin and it is burning the crap out of me. Yet there seems to be nothing I can do about this.

I had to go back into the hospital today as I rang my ward nurse and asked her about the pain. She said maybe try changing the dressing. I told her I'd not been given anything else, despite the fact I was meant to wear it for ANOTHER 3 WEEKS. She told me to come in and she'd give me more supplies.

I have a little idea of how I might fashion a new drain bag so that not so much bile can touch my skin, but for fucks sake, this is draining the life blood from me. I'm meant to be going to Sydney on Thursday and all I can think about is how much pain I'm in and how shitty I am!

Anywho, it's just an ongoing saga that I really don't want to be a part of and bore everyone with my tales, but unfortunately it's my reality at the moment.

Hospital again (I've lost count)

2012-01-10T17:52:00.000+11:00

So despite them telling me I was in for a day procedure, I still ended up being admitted overnight. I was lucky it wasn't the whole week, I think my smiling face and ability to agree to anything allowed me home.

Back track.

I came in to St V's bright and early Monday morning for my liver drainage. They thought I had a cyst, but it could be a bile collection blah blah. I was being attended to by one of the top Biliary Specialists, Professor Andrew Little. I've got to admit, he was very good and he had an air of calm and knowledge about him. His offsider Ray reminded me of Danny de Vito. (sorry Ray!). They prepped me in some you beaut super sterile part of the hospital where everything had plastic covers and the nurses were super covered up and lots of precautions were taken. This was in case they weren't able to go subcostally and had to go through my lungs (which would have been really not preferred by everyone and apparently really risky and super likely to introduce all sorts of new problems). Thankfully Andrew found an approach, coming at the liver from almost the centre of my abdomen, near my diaphragm, that meant nothing else was touched. PHEW. I was awake for the whole procedure, I couldn't really see anything, but they gave me a running commentary and showed me the bile when they syringed a bit out and I could sort of feel pulling and poking and prodding. I'm pretty sure they said it was a cystadenoma, but as usual I have no idea because I was full of fentanyl whilst on the table and was feeling like a bit of a space cadet!

So I ended up with a tube left in attached to a drainage bag that filled up with bile and blood. Very pleasant!

I spent four hours in recovery then was moved up to Ward 7 East where I had a bed. As usual the nurses were wonderful and really looked after me. I had morphine around 9pm as I was quite uncomfortable, but after this I've been on bugger all panadol really. Which is fab.

I was quite swollen in that pic, the swelling has gone down a lot and I'm not so tender. I am attached to the tube & bag til at least Monday when I go in as an outpatient and see my specialist. Hopefully they will remove it all then as I'm going to Sydney on Thursday and don't really want it all still attached.

The hope is that the cavity will all collapse upon itself and that this will be the end. However there is a chance that it will fill up again and we'll have to look at doing something else, or drain it again. The specialists will monitor me over the next little while to see what goes on, probably just with regular ultrasounds as they're the least invasive and require no nuclear shit!

I'm feeling okay, rather tired and a little sore, but glad it's all over and done with. I'll probably go back to work on Thursday and do admin for the 2 days. I have to get this baby re-dressed every couple of days and just keep an eye on it. Should be fine, especially as we're having cooler weather, so no sweaty yuk.

The End (for now!)

LOL - had to share this

2012-01-08T14:49:00.000+11:00

It seems the good people at La Redoute weren't wearing their glasses when they published this advertisement for children's clothing.

Can you see him?
LMAO!!! Brilliant.

Apparently they pulled the ad after people became outraged, and made lots of apologies. I think it's hilarious, and now a Tumbler Thingy has been set up for Naked Man. Magnifique!

I wonder if that guy knows he's so famous?

stinky stuff

2012-01-05T23:37:00.000+11:00

You know what I don't understand... those plug in smelly things that people put in their houses (no offense intended if you use them, I'm not a fan)

Yup those things.

I first noticed their prominence when I lived in the UK. People had them in their houses and none of them smelled any good. Most of them gave me a headache. What can smell so badly that you have to use a stinky plug in thing to make it smell better. Why can't people just open up their houses? Even in Winter there are ways to air a house rather than pollute it with synthetic smells.

Anywho, every time I walk up my driveway (it's 250m long and I'm the second last house), when I get near houses 11 & 13 I am always aware of the stink emanating from them, whether they've got their doors closed or not. I swear they have 10 of these things plugged into each house, it's that strong. Just now I walked up and down the driveway, at 11pm coz I forgot to get my bin in, and I could smell it. How on earth can they bear to sit in there with that smell? Do they have dead bodies hidden in their cupboards?

Just a thought, I ponder it every time I go up and down the driveway!

I went to Dad's yesterday, up in the Dandenongs. It's still quite green up there, despite the recent little heatwave. I guess it won't take much to dry it out though. I picked up a whole lot of my sister's boxes and have them in my dungeon under the house now, for when she returns in 15 days. She'll be staying in the spare room, not the dungeon, until she gets organised with her old house and finds the rest of her belongings, which are spread from one end of the state to the other!

Nina sat on my stomach as I lay on the deck, under the table for shade

I did a bit of daydreaming

we checked out the gardens

I really should go to bed, things to be done tomorrow. I'm not that tired however, I seem to have reverted back to my night owl self rather quickly. It's going to be a bugger when I have to go back to work!

Happy Happy

2012-01-02T00:36:00.001+11:00

It's just ticked over to 12.05am, so it's now the 2nd day of the New Year. My house is still quite warm, though there is a breeze now. I could put the aircon on, but I resist that until it gets stinking hot. That will be later today, it's forecast to be 40 degrees (104 F). I think I may just dig out my sun shelter and go to the beach. I'll see how I feel when I wake up.

I had a fabulous New Years Eve party, at the Trash Masquerade with Amanda Palmer & Neil Gaiman. It had been hot during the day, but thankfully had begun to cool down by the time I got to my old house in Brunswick. I picked up Damien and we headed to Kensington to Revolt. I had to put my underskirt on when we got there, as there was no way I could drive in it. Thankfully I wasn't the only one, there was a couple who parked in front of us who were getting dressed. So we all helped each other and had a good laugh.

The inside of Revolt is quite large and well decorated. There were 2 stage areas on which various performers and acts appeared throughout the night. I won't bore you with a blow by blow account of the night, suffice to say I had a fabulous time, got caught up in the entertainment, had a lap dance, touched boobies and laughed a lot. In fact I discovered that wearing my mask was like having botox, it restricted my face and I felt like it was a huge effort to smile!!!

There's me in the background, mouth wide open, having a grand old time!

I look like I'm sat on a throne, well I am actually sitting on a girl who is sitting on a throne LOL!

There's that fly catching mouth...again!

Afterwards with my 2 fave (bloodied) strippers!

This was the start of the night, I look trashed despite not drinking! The blue tongued fiend is my old flattie, Damien.

This is my step sister, neither of us knew the other was going to the event!

Neil Gaiman reading some of his writings, I could listen to him for hours

Amanda Palmer popping out of a cake at midnight, in true AP style!

A video of the strippers (& me at around 4.12 onwards!) Geez it embeds small, click through and view it larger on youtube

So yes, I had a brilliant night as did everyone else who attended. The costumes were amazing and the night as a whole was well put together and very effective and loads of fun.

I don't do New Years resolutions but this year I really need to sort out my weight and my health. I'm not sure how or why I have continued to put on weight, despite regularly going to the gym and eating well, but I have. You can see it in the photos above, my arms are like fat kransky sausages. It upsets me. I have a feeling it's something to do with my liver and well, maybe after my next round of surgery things may settle down. I'm going to book in another session at the gym once that's over and get a more tailored exercise routine.

I hope everyone who reads this had a wonderful NYE and did whatever it was they enjoyed. Don't get me wrong, I'm not normally the partying type (okay well since I "retired") but this was just too irresistible. I hope that 2012 is all that you want it to be.

the obligatory christmas post

2011-12-26T18:37:00.004+11:00

My Christmas Day, whilst tinged with sadness, is always a lovely affair. I am reminded how truly wonderful my family is and how good they are at cooking and eating.

This year we were at my cousin's house, as my Aunt has recently been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and hasn't been well as a result. I drove my Nan over and we ate and drank and chatted the day away.

I started with oysters kilpatrick though I ignored the prawns coz they're too much work for me! The main fare was amazing, plenty of pork (that I can't eat - too rich for me!), turkey, beef, ham, all cooked to perfection. Lots of yummy salad made by me, with freshly picked tomatoes & cucumber, and other bits and pieces. I didn't over eat, for some reason I can only eat in medium increments now, so I paced myself.

It was great to catch up with my Aunts & Uncles and Cousins and my Dad put in an appearance. We had a huge range of ages, from my cousin's 9 month old boy to my Aunt's 98 year old Aunt. Brilliant.

Most people left just before the storms hit after a wonderful few hours.

9 month old Xavier, eating a strawberry that is also apparently, good for your face

Aunty Betty - 98 years old!

Almost 12 - my cousin Anna

My beautiful Nanna

Storm Clouds - we didn't much more than rain and thunder here, unlike other parts of Melbourne.

Tamika, hiding under the tree from the storms

my little tree, that I took down today, goodbye Christmas!

Xmas Eve - relaxing in the shade

Alex chilling

lying in the yard daydreaming

blue skies

I hope you all had fabulous Christmas Days and have a little time off. For once I actually have holidays, around 2 weeks off which is brilliant. I slept in today (after the initial 5am wake up). Loving it!

3 weeks til surgery

2011-12-19T20:50:00.001+11:00

Just a quickie coz I'm knackered. I saw a surgeon called Pia today who told me they were going to drain the fluidy cysty thing on my liver on 9th January. Then she asked if that was too slow for me! She wanted to wait til the top specialist was back from holidays. Oh okay then, only if he's the best!

I told her as long as I would be right to go to Sydney on the 19th then that would be fine.

I realised just now that's 3 weeks away!

She said the fluid is probably from the initial surgery and its resulting complications.

I will probably be in hospital for a couple of days.

I walked away feeling happy. Can't wait to feel pain free again.

Night folks.

A disjointed post

2011-12-16T21:09:00.001+11:00

I started this post in the afternoon on Friday, after I came back from my visit with the Liver Specialist. Or specialists as it turned out. I came back feeling miserable and not because of the treatment of the specialists, they were fantastic.

I felt rubbish because it seems I have put on even more weight. Despite eating quite well, exercising at the gym at least 3 times a week I have still put on weight. Not a tiny bit, 7 fkn kilos. I felt really really angry when I weighed myself. Now I feel empty and like all that money and effort was a waste of damn time.

It seems I'm on the back foot, no matter what I do, coz if your liver isn't working properly that makes it rather difficult, as explained below.

Common symptoms due to poor liver function are:

Poor digestion, abdominal bloating, nausea especially after fatty foods, weight gain around the abdomen and constipation. Irritable bowel syndrome, associated with abdominal swelling and flatulence, is often due to a sluggish liver. (yup, I bloat & look pregnant some days, can't eat fatty foods and feel like crap a lot)
Unpleasant mood changes, depression, `foggy brain' and impaired concentration and memory. If the liver is sluggish, excessive amounts of toxic metabolites find their way into the blood stream and can affect the function of the brain. (maybe this explains my "early onset Alzheimers!")
Allergic conditions such as hay fever, hives, skin rashes and asthma. (funnily enough, I've been having the worst hayfever in a long long time this summer)
Headaches. Unfortunately, pain killers can cause further stress on the liver as the liver is the organ that breaks down all drugs. (I put it down to being allergic to work and Mondays, but maybe it's not that after all)
High blood pressure and/or fluid retention. (yep and yep)
Hypoglycaemia or unstable blood sugar levels. An unhappy liver can cause wild fluctuations of blood sugar level with very low glucose levels causing fatigue, dizziness, light-headedness and cravings for sugar. (oh yes, the 2am wake up whereby I feel like I'm about to pass out from lack of food/low BSLs)
Inability to tolerate fatty foods, gallbladder disease and gallstones. If you feed your liver too much saturated or damaged (rancid) fat, it will try to pump it out of your body through the bile which flows into the gallbladder and then the small intestine. This will raise the cholesterol content of your bile and can result in gallstones (made of hard cholesterol) and gallbladder inflammation. If your liver is not working efficiently, it will not manufacture enough bile salts to keep biliary cholesterol in solution and so gallbladder stones may result. (well my gallbladder is gone already, hence why I steer clear of fatty foods in the first place)
Fatigue and chronic fatigue syndrome. (not as much as last time round)
Excessive body heat, which may be associated with sweating or body odour. (this mostly happens at night, in bed. I wish it was due to other nocturnal activities, alas...)
Lowered tolerance to alcohol and various drugs such as antibiotics. (I've given up on alcohol & I rarely take antibiotics)

So there you have it. DOOMED!!

Unfortunately I know nothing more of my liver situation at this stage, other than I have been squeezed in to see the surgeon this Monday, which is fabulous. The specialist I had was lovely and thorough and I felt like she listened to everything I said. She then consulted with another specialist who was just as nice. My specialist told me that she would take all the info and scans etc into the multi disciplinary meeting Monday morning and by the time I see the surgeon on Monday arvo he may have some more answers/ideas for me. I've been a part of said meetings at that hospital, when I worked in palliative care, so I know what goes on and I know that it's a very informative and interesting process.

So folks, I shall let you know on Monday night what the outcome was.

edited to add a pic:
I was doing make up tests earlier, I'm still rubbish but this is a cool pic of my eye!

ooh and one of my new choker, I love this (the choker not the pic)

more updates: (coz I can't be bothered doing a whole new post)

big eff off purple ring

a slightly more delicate ring that you can't see has
purple sparkles

purple toenails on little maggoty toes

and the winner is...

2011-12-16T06:02:00.000+11:00

Bad photos in bathroom mirrors! So I went with B and ordered it Wednesday. It arrived Thursday!!! How brilliantly speedy was that!

I've got my specialist appointment today at the hospital. Will update when I know more. I'm going to leave early to hopefully beat the traffic on Punt Rd.

PS - one more week at work - fast forward please!!

Help Again... opinion needed...

2011-12-12T20:14:00.003+11:00

Which mask do you prefer?

A:

or

B:

Answers on a napkin, or alternatively in the comments below. This is the last bit of my trash masquerade costume.

If you don't like either you must provide an alternative that is available in this country!!

I'm watching I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here. So bad but so trashy good. Loving Ant & Dec's Geordie accents, aaah I've missed seeing them on the box. Mark Wright is such a dick ha ha and I'm loving Antony Cotton!

Anywho, I'm allergic to Mondays, I always end the day with a screaming headache. I think the answer is never to get out of bed on a Monday. Hmmmm.

4 days til specialist time. HURRAH! My appointment is at 9.10am so I think I might drive to work then catch the train from Hawksburn station. It's 9 mins to Parliament, opposed to trying to get up Punt Rd in peak hour. As much as I loathe trains I also loathe peak hour bollocking traffic. Yers.

Cheese Dreams

2011-12-10T20:57:00.000+11:00

How remiss of me, this post has been brewing in my brain for the last few weeks, I've only just remembered it now.

It revolves around my sleeping life and my dream state.

If I eat cheese with dinner I have the most vivid, if not nightmarish dreams. It's only since my surgery last year, I never experienced it before then. A lot of the time I don't even make the connection until the next morning, when I have awoken from a completely baffling/violent/gory/wtf dream and a while later the light bulb goes off.

Yup, I ate cheese with dinner.

I think I am going to do an experiment on myself. Just like the British Cheese Board did in 2005. They did a study with 200 volunteers and gave them different cheeses and recorded if and what sort of dreams they had. Whilst they reported that the cheeses didn't cause nightmares, they found a correlation between the types of cheese and what sort of dreams the volunteers had.

"When it came to dream type, it seemed that Stilton caused the most crazy dreams, with 75 per cent of men and 85 per cent of women eating Stilton experiencing odd and vivid dreams."

"British brie tended to give women nice dreams, such as Jamie Oliver cooking dinner in their kitchen, while the men had odd dreams such as having a drunken conversation with a dog."

Apparently there's something in cheese called tryptophan, an amino acid, that can make your dreams change. There appears to be a well established link between tryptophan and lucid dreaming, so I'm not surprised that cheese can make people's dreams alter.

It's a real shame I can't actually eat a lot of cheese. My gall bladder was removed when they chopped my liver in half and because of that too much cheese can make me illish. Bummer.

the ball is rolling (again)

2011-12-10T20:29:00.001+11:00

A tiny bit anyway...

After a client assessment on Friday I looked at my phone and I saw I had a missed call from an unknown number, with a voicemail left. I normally forget I even have a phone during the day, so it was odd for me to check. So as my team leader and I walked back to the car I listened to the message. It was from a lady at St Vincent's Hospital telling me they had booked me in for an appointment next Friday. I did a little dance down the cobblestones, I felt rather pleased.

So I get to see the specialist before Christmas. Don't get too excited however, last time I saw the specialist (not saying it will be the same one) I cried and wanted to kill the specialist due to her seemingly complete lack of empathy. I guess this time I will have experience and history on my side, I ain't taking no shit from no one! Hah!

I had reasonable week, though I am jolly well tired. I can't wait for the hols. I only get 10 days off, but heck, it's 10 days more than I've had in the last long while. I may just spend it sleeping and eating. Oh and going to the gym. I've been going 3 months now and let me tell you, I see no difference. I eat well, I go to the gym at least 2 - 3 times a week and nothing. But last time I had a tumour in my liver I had the same feeling, I'm sure it affects my hormones and blood sugar levels (I've been tested for diabetes and I don't have it). Regardless, I shall continue, because I want to be as fit as I can be if and when I have surgery again.

Blah blah. I'm rambling.

It's raining outside and it's quite peaceful. I shall leave you with my usual kitty spam and pointless pictorials.

Tamika Moo, surveying the garden from the back landing thing

Bengalbum Alex being a fierce jungle cat

I'm totes addicted to strawberries atm, but they have to be SMALL ones.

I made a cherry based viniagrette, it's delish

And now it's time for me to catch up on blogs, so expect some comment spam.

Help Wanted!

2011-12-03T19:35:00.002+11:00

Hello, yes, it's been a couple of weeks. I've been busy, and not busy, and tired. Really tired. This time of the year drains the lifeblood from you. If you want proof of that just look at my clients, we've got hospital visits and general mental unwellness. I'm busting out of my skin for my 10 day break over the Christmas/NY break. 10 days for me is the first proper paid break I'll have had in um, let me see, ooh about 7 years. I shit you not. I moved overseas nearly 7 years ago and after I came back I studied then worked casually, so no holidays for me. The only "break" I've had was the 2 months off after surgery, but that was hardly a holiday. So needless to say I'm really fucking grateful to be having a mere 10 days off.

I've just scratched the beejeebus out of my eyes and now I'm sniffing and sneezing. Damn hayfever!

The purpose of this blog is not to talk tosh about holidays, no, it's to ask for help. See I'm meant to be going to a New Years Eve Trash Masquerade with Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer, my awesome ex flatmate is paying for me to go. See, there are ace people left in this world. I wasn't going to go, coz I freaked at the thought of having to dress up. I hate fancy dress.

"THIS IS A FANCY FUCKING DRESS NIGHT: TRASH IT UP, PEOPLE!!!!! PAINT-BLEACH THAT 80s GOWN! COVER THAT WEDDING TUX WITH FROSTING! WE WANT TO LICK YOU. SHINY!!! LOUD!!!! TRASHHHY!!!!!"

And then I thought WTF Fen, what else are you going to do? Sit at home talking to the cats like you do every other night? I'm staring down the barrel of more surgery, so why not go out and enjoy life and let your (newly cut) hair down and just be silly. So I accepted the brilliant offer of a ticket and said why the heck not.

So herein lies my dilemma.... what do I wear? I have found the dress below, do you think it's suitable for trashy masquerade. Of course you have to wear masks, so I'm going to have to get one of those too. And I'm sure I can alter the dress, I've already got my Aunt on board, she's a whizz with a sewing machine And my hair, what can I do with my hair? Why do I have no sense of style and creativity LOL.

HALP!!!

it's purple & black, the front is about 10 inches shorter than the back

So anyway, once I know we've got tickets, I will start preparing. Also stressing. But it should be fun no?

I put my tree up today and so far the cats haven't destroyed it. Alex tried to nick off with the lights before I'd even got them on the tree, but he's been good so far.

I went to Aldi early this morning, to beat the mad Xmas crowds. I had a good laugh when I saw this hair dye.

Kur means dick in Macedonian!

And lastly I took this pic last weekend as I sat in my car at the big tin shed hardware store (that leaked like a sieve I might add). What a wet day that one was!

So to conclude today's random brain dump, um, I want the warm weather back. I just put the heater on. Coz I'm chilly. Maybe it is because I cut 3 - 4 inches off my hair. Uh oh.

PS - this made me giggle like an idiot - How many Mobys are there?

R.I.P. Elliott(paloozacat)

2011-11-22T20:57:00.001+11:00

My old mancat had to be put to sleep today, he was approx 16-17 years old. He was my first rescue cat & would do anything for food! He was a corn fiend, sometimes I'd find the bin pulled apart because there was a corn cob in there that Elliott just had to have! He was a very timid cat, but he loved me to bits and was my shadow for a lot of the time.

When Alice arrived they fast became best friends and could often be found cuddling. Often both squeezing onto my lap at the same time!

I had him for 12 years then he went to Dad's with Alice (in the big pic) when I moved to London. They both lived out their years on the farm. It seemed cruel to take them back to an apartment after they'd been living up there. Elliott used to spend a lot of time in the barn, up on the haystacks, stalking mice and rats.

Elliott's kidneys started failing a little while ago now, I often wondered how he'd made it this far. I saw him a couple of weeks ago and gave him a little cuddle. I was pretty sure it would be our last time.

R.I.P Elliottpalooza cat, you were lovely.

Saturday Night's All Right

2011-11-12T21:34:00.000+11:00

Been catching up on my shows tonight. Well mainly Private Practice, Greys Anatomy & my favourite, Being Erica. If you haven't seen Being Erica, I highly recommend it, it's a lovely Canadian show. I currently have a crush on Reagan Pasternak, I don't usually go for blondes.

I went to the gym today, finally felt better after a 2 week break thanks to the flu. It felt good to be exercising again. I'm going to book in for another assessment this week and get them to modify my program. I want to lose as much weight as possible and also tone up in preparation for the possibility of surgery. Now I don't know for sure that it will happen, but it's highly likely and I'd like to be in the best shape possible before it happens.

I picked up my CT scans this week, it was interesting to see what's currently inside of me. Tumour and surgical clips FTW! Ha ha ha. I also faxed off my referral to St Vincent's, so I'm hoping they get back to me asap about a consult with my specialist or surgeon. It would be nice to have a bit more knowledge other than yes you have a 7.8cm "tumour". Not knowing if it's benign or malignant or what they will do about it is a tad annoying. My gut feeling is it's a big cyst sort of growth and that it should be okay, but heck, I'm no doctor, that's what someone else gets paid the big bucks for. So I'm waiting for that said someone to take it upon them self to let me in on the secret.

there it is, in it's lovely roundness, the bright bits are surgical clips (apparently)

side view, with added ruler thing!

alternate view, with added alien like creatures! (& my spine)

Trust me when I say I'm not stressing, because I'm not. There's nothing to stress about yet. I am however frustrated and angry, but these are also pointless emotions as I can't do anything to change what is reality. I am doing my best to be patient and wait for the process that I loathe to occur. At least work isn't too far from the hospital *sigh*.

In positive news, my sister has scored herself a job, all the way from South Africa. She's going to be teaching at a school not far from my house next year. Very happy with that news and I'm hanging out to be able to spend more time with her again.

So my lovely Saturday is drawing to a close. I scored myself 2 pairs of sandals on sale today, as well as a hat. I needed all of the above for work, and the sandals had to be comfy as I tend to do a lot of walking about with my clients. So feeling very pleased with myself as I HATE shopping. Next pay I need to update my summer work wardrobe as it is practically non existent and well, summer is marching in. Hooray.

I hope you're all having lovely weekends and if not then come around and I shall give you a big squeezey cuddle and the cats will entertain you x

I am such a twit!!

2011-11-09T19:36:00.000+11:00

So I got my CT scan results. The verdict, that I know of 100%, is that I am a prize fool.

I originally misread my tumour as being 7.1mm. It was actually 71mm. SEVEN CENTIMETRES. It is now 78mm or nearly 8cm. Woopsies.

What I don't know is what it is - malignant or benign, why it's there and what's going to be done. I do know they're calling it cystic, something that my last tumour was not. So now I have to try and get in to see my specialist and take it from there. I'm not really impressed, but hey, this is what I went through last time, so at the very least I am used to the process.

I'm just kicking myself that I thought it was so small, when in fact it isn't. It's almost the size it was last time, only this is in the space of a year.

Bollockingtitwank.

To cheer me up, Mother Nature has been putting on a lovely storm show. After a day of humidity that felt like walking through invisible fog the heat has now broken. The really severe stuff has missed here. We had a good light show, with pouring rain and very dark dark clouds. I've seen pics of hail bigger than 20c pieces and heard stories of far worse. There's another cell coming through later, but it doesn't look as severe on the radar.

Relaxing Sunday

2011-11-06T19:39:00.001+11:00

Last night I heard of the news of the death of Sarah Watt. Sarah was a writer, a director, an artist, she was also the wife of William McInnes and they had 2 lovely kids. Her work is brilliant, the film "Look Both Ways" is one of my favourite Australian films. I knew she'd been diagnosed with breast cancer not long after making Look Both Ways and when I heard of her death I was genuinely sad. If you like, take the time to read this article, written in The Age last month. It's is poignant. R.I.P to a genuinely amazing lady and my heart goes out to Will & the rest of her family in this time of sadness.

Today I spent the day with my family at my Dad's property in the Dandenongs. It was quite a warm, but overcast day and I picked my Nan up and drove up there. I'd almost forgotten the Sunday tourist drivers until we got onto the one lane stretch of Wellington Rd and the traffic slowed right down. Ah well, cruisey! The Dandenongs, and Dad's garden, were looking magnificent. The recent wet but warm weather has meant everything is lush and green, looking at its best. Nan was impressed as we showed her around the garden. Lunch was delicious and I felt nice and relaxed by the time we headed for home.

(just had to rush off to stem a blood nose, seems all this sneezing and snotting has made my nose fragile)

Speaking of nasal fun, I purchased myself this:

A NOSE DOUCHE!!!!!!!!!

I must admit, the word douche did not appear once on the packaging, so I had a good laugh when I saw that written. Now I regularly tell myself I need a good douching! It does help however, clearing my poor sinuses and helping remove that pesky schnot. BTW if you're going to tell me douching my nose gives me the bloods, wrong. It's very gentle, no stinging, no mad pressure up my nose, easy peasy.

So, after a week off it's time to go back to work tomorrow. (oh & ps the doc says I had the flu... it's possible, it was nasty enough). I'm kinda anxious about it, I feel really bad for having so much time off. But it will be good to get back into things and see how all my clients are doing.

Three days was the morning. My focus three days old

2011-11-04T15:40:00.001+11:00

aaaah Jane's Addiction lyrics, I still love that song. Nothing like playing all 10 minutes of it really loud. Not now though, my poor ears are shattered. Loud noise makes me wince.

Operation Head Cold is in full swing. I've moaned and groaned my way through the last 3 days, luckily it's just the cats that have to put up with me. It's been nothing short of horrid. Today I went back to the doctors and got antibiotics so here's hoping that clears it up quickety split coz I am taking my Nan to lunch at my Dad's on Sunday and I need to be well for that.

I also got my CT scan referral and booked in for Tuesday. The receptionist asked me about having chemotherapy and my eyebrows shot upwards, making the sound of finger nails across corduroy. Here's hoping she was making one hell of an assumption. Oh well, I'm too full of snot to care at this stage and it's there so there's no changing that.

Anywho, trying to eat this bowl of porridge so I can then ingest my first antibiotic. It's unappetising given everything tastes of nothing right now.

Have I mentioned I hate being sick? Give me surgery any day :P

Oh ps - I got a letter today saying they're going to install my smart meter! Do I have to have one? Can I refuse to get one? Or shall it become #OccupyAnalogMeter

unwells

2011-11-02T18:17:00.000+11:00

I had a stinking migraine for 2 days and to wrap it up I now have a whopping head cold. So my 4 day weekend is about to turn into 6 days as the doctor has given me tomorrow off. She's also nagged me about my liver tumour, saying I really should get a CT scan done and book in with my specialist. Yes yes. I told her I'd have the CT scan done then book in, coz they specialist will only ask me to have a scan done anyway. So in the next month I'll organise that *sigh*.

To be fair, I'm pretty sure this is the first cold I've had this year, I've been very lucky with boring illnesses, I tend to go for the rarer types such as endometriosis and liver tumours.

Oh yeah I also had a B12 injection too.

I had to take Tamika Moo to the vet this morning, just to make my day all the more worthwhile. It seems she's picked up a feline UTI and was peeing blood the poor thing. So she's had an injection and seems to be feeling a bit better. We've both lounged about all day long.

I've been watching Lip Service, which was an awesome BBC program from last year. I finished The Fades yesterday, which was fkn fantastic. One of the best new discoveries I have made. Best news is they're making series 2 of both those shows, that pleases me muchly. I think I am going to have to save up for an iPad as the BBC iPlayer is available for around $90 a year on it and you can watch the BBC programs - similar to the ABC iView program we have here. Given I love British TV that would be rad. Unfortunately the cheapest iPad is expensive in my opinion, so who knows. There's no word if and when iPlayer may become available on other platforms.

I've become so behind on my Reader list, coz for 3 or so days I couldn't really handle looking at a computer screen for more than 2 minutes at a time. I'm going to attempt to get through it now, so beware my feverish comments.

Photowalk Friday

2011-10-28T19:35:00.000+11:00

I have a lovely client who is very artistic, so we decided today to do a photowalk in Prahran. It was a nice warm day, blowing a fierce wind & full of hayfever inducing materials, however we had a brilliant time.

Here are a few of my snaps. (you can click on them to go thru to flickr and see the bigger pics)

Love the way this tree has been pruned around the powerlines. That's my little silver work car underneath!

I guess this is typical of how Italians decorated their fences back then.

Love this greenery, but I can't help wonder what the roots of that plant are doing to the brickwork on both the fence and the house.

This blue door looks brilliant. It really stands out against the weathered brickwork. I'd love to take a peek behind that door.

This poor little place needs some loving. I'd be quite happy to take over and give it the love it needs.

That is just plain old ugly. It needs trees and some TLC.

When you look up it's amazing how many wires are overhead.

This is where we were. Just off Malvern Rd and up a nice quiet street. Seems like a lovely place to live.

Milk Bars/Corner Shops are a rare breed nowadays. This one's a little eclectic but I'm sure they get reasonable trade tucked away back there.

The façade of this place had been done up, maybe a pointer for the ugly joint up there. It does need some greenery though.

It's now raining after a storm passed through earlier. It wasn't much of a storm here but enjoyable none the less. I've got 4 days off and I'm looking forward to it quite a lot.

Finito

2011-10-24T20:11:00.000+11:00

I'm over the 100 days of photos, I got to day 28! Hah. It's becoming repetitive, a lot of the topics were almost the same. I'll just stick with posting my usual swathe of cat pics.

Speaking of which, here's one of Alex, if you click through to Flickr and make it LARGE (or click on the word large), you can see the gorgeous glittering in his fur.

I've got a 4 day weekend coming up (as I'm sure do a lot of Melburnians) and I can't wait. Feels like a little holiday. I'm not going away coz I am attending my Nan's 84th birthday on the Sunday, but I don't mind one bit. I'm happy to shuffle about my abode, talking to myself and the cats. It's what I do best.

I'm so ready for bed but it's 8:10pm. *sigh*

Day 28 – A picture of something you’re afraid of

2011-10-18T19:47:00.000+11:00

VENTRILOQUIST DUMMIES! I can't stand them, they're creepy and just wrong. These are from the Doctor Who "God Complex" episode.

Two hot days in a row coming up and I'm fretting that I have no clothes and I'm feeling super frumpy and blobby. But hot weather, yes please.

Day 27 – A picture of yourself and a family member.

2011-10-17T20:00:00.001+11:00

Ha ha ha ha, not sure why I'm wearing the dunces hat! My PJ's are rocking though. Jealous much? So of course that's my little sister and my Dad too.

I had a good weekend. I did the chicken roast in the Weber on Saturday night and the consensus (between the 2 of us) was that it was amazing. So moist and delicious. I'm so getting the hang of this BBQ. I'd really like a meat probe *snorts* so that I am more aware of when things are properly cooked. Breville make a smashing one.

Shame I'm not having a birthday any time soon. I shall not wish that Santa day to hurry up either.

And in other excitements my gorgeous friend who I used to sleep next to every night in the UK (okay, well we were separated by a wall) GOT ENGAGED. So I now have to save my dosh for flights and accommodationals and my annual leave for a trip to the UK. I'm so so so so very happy for her, she's a wonderful bundle of brilliance.

the housemaates are escaaaping

Day 26 – A picture of something that means a lot to you.

2011-10-15T17:20:00.000+11:00

Before we get onto the picture/s I just have something to tell you all.

Last night I made a small lamb roast in the weber and OMG IT WAS SO GOOD!! Ha ha. Honestly though, the meat was melt in your mouth delicious and the outside had a slightly crispy shell which was amazing. Tonight my friend Harvey is over and I'm going to do a roast chicken in it. Just the thought of it makes me drool like a drooling idiot. Oh yes.

Now, something that means a lot to you. No idea. Um. Okay...

My space means a lot to me. So much so that I don't think I could ever share it long term with anyone again. Though never say never right. My sister may come and stay for a bit next year, which I'm happy with, she's my sister afterall. But as for sharing my space full time, ad infinitum, not so sure. I love having my own space with my own things with no one touching them and messing it all up. Oh I could go on and on but I won't bore you.

Anywho, on to some exciting cat photos. I know you've been hanging out for some.

This is Alex in his new walking jacket, hopefully he'll get used to it & want to go outside in the jungle & explore

Tamika exploring & rolling about in the jungle

And a non cat photo!

My veggie garden, ooh I can't wait for these babies to grow.

Day 25 – A picture of your day

2011-10-12T09:54:00.000+11:00

This is my desk, looking kinda neat. I have a rubbish Citrix terminal and can't put a pic on my desktop, so a purple screen has to suffice. I'm doing case notes this morning, then we have a team meeting. I'm out all arvo with clients so I'm hoping the weather improves coz it's looking a bit tosh outside.

How's your day shaping up blog fiends?

Day 24 – A picture of something you wish you could change

2011-10-11T20:48:00.000+11:00

But you can't change such events, so you just have to deal with it and learn to live life differently. Sounds easy but it can take a lot of time and energy.

I had a lovely dinner out at a friends tonight. Very enjoyable. Her dog Kevin loved me lots, he was so cute. I should have taken a photo of him and his big sooky eyes.

My Dad's back from his overseas trip tonight, can't wait to catch up and hear all this travel tales. Also pondering whether to give up my RDO's and leave work at 4.30pm instead. I don't seem to get the time to fit my RDO's in and when I do have them I kinda waste my time. I think I'd rather leave early and beat the traffic and have some extra time at the end of the day. Whaddya think?

Day 23 – A picture of your favourite book.

2011-10-09T20:11:00.000+11:00

Hmmm my favourite book? That's a really hard one to pin down. I'm reading Monkey Grip again, the first time I read it was 20 years ago. For some reason it has always stuck in my head, so I guess it has some meaning for me.

Anyway I bought a Weber this weekend and I'm loving it already. Just an hour or so ago I cooked a couple of chicken breasts I had marinated this arvo and boy they were delicious. I'm excited to be able to experiment cooking on it. I need to get me a roasting trivet so I can do roasts in it, the thought makes me drool. Apparently you can also get a pizza stone and make pizzas in it, colour me happy.

(look at the mess that is my hose! shhhh)

I also planted out my veggie garden this weekend. I have 3 different types of tomatoes, cucumbers, zucchini, lettuce and spinach. Oh and some parsley and coriander in tubs. I can't wait to see how they all do, I'm easily pleased when it comes to growing stuff. I like just watching things grow and flourish.

I wish the weekend weren't over, why is it that it always seems to go by so fast, even if you're not doing much.

Day 22 – A picture of something you wish you were better at

2011-10-07T20:54:00.000+11:00

EXERCISE.

I don't think I will ever be good at it, or that it will ever become a good habit, it's always going to be something that I force myself to do. But I'm plodding along.

And now, some cat pictures because it's Friday and tomorrow is Caturday.

a ball of spots

double decker cats

Oh and one of Alex Kingston, because I can and because I would like for her to kiss me the way she kissed the Doctor. Oh, SPOILERS!

Day 21 – A picture of something you wish you could forget

2011-10-03T19:51:00.000+11:00

I wasn't sure how to answer this one, with a picture. So of course I went for the humour option.

This photo was taken in central London. Beware, your eyes may burn slightly!!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

Day 20 – A picture of somewhere you’d love to travel

2011-09-29T19:41:00.001+10:00

I've travelled quite a bit over the years. Right now I could so go here, to Samoa, and just lay on the beach all day every day. I don't need action and entertainment, just serenity and warmth.

Especially after the weather we've just had/are having!

Brrrr.

Tumour time again (take two)?

2011-09-28T17:37:00.001+10:00

Well I made it through a year and after finally going to get my ultrasound results today it appears I have grown myself another liver tumour. The doctor and I are assuming it's another Focal Nodular Hyperplasia. It's hypoechoic so one can assume that it's probably not cancer. I have opted to wait a couple of months and then go for a CT scan and see if it has grown. At this stage it's just under 1cm, so a little weeny one compared to the 10cm one I had removed a year ago.

I'm not that fussed. To be honest I've been expecting there might be something amiss, I've been feeling pain again especially after eating, so I almost figured something was up. It is what it is and I'm feeling laid back about it. A little grumpy that I've grown another one after only a year, but what can you do eh. It's more annoying that it's rare and no one knows much about them, so I can't really google much info on recurrent FNH's. I wish I had the number of a hepatic specialist that I could ring when I wanted a chat and to pick someone's brain. Alas it seems whatever I grow, it's a bit unusual and no one knows much.

My endometriosis has been playing up big time lately too. But that's another surgery and I'm not willing to do it yet. That's going to have to get super unbearable before I commit to surgery, because I've already had 2 in 2 years. Aaah my poor body!!!!

I've also got a referral finally to have a colonoscopy done (from a hot, young gastro specialist!). There's a 6 month wait (public, I don't believe in health insurance) and I'm cool with that. I've not been having any symptoms so I'm pretty sure this will be straight forward. It's just smart for me to get them regularly because my Mum had her first bout of bowel cancer when she was 44, eventually dying from recurrent cancer 10 years later. Better to be safe than sorry.

It's been a weird old day here. I had an RDO so I got to get all my stuff done. As I stepped out of the doctors the heavens opened and a big storm cell moved over us. It's been storming on and off for the last 2 hours, I've been as excited as a small child.

I'm under the red near Moorabbin Ap.

Earlier this morning we had another cell move through and I went down to the beach. It was too grey to be very impressive, but it was nice to get to the beach and enjoy the warm weather. It's since gone cold and miserable.

Day 19 – A picture of you when you were little

2011-09-25T12:21:00.000+10:00

Aaaaw I was really little in this photo.

Day 18 – A picture of your biggest insecurity

2011-09-23T18:36:00.000+10:00

How do you have a picture of your biggest insecurity if it's yourself? Do I just do a self portrait? I mean I'm not insecure with everything about me, but bits and pieces. I'm feeling insecure because I put on weight after my surgery. I don't like not fitting into my clothes, I don't like the flabby stomach and muffin top that has appeared. But I'm working on it.

I started at the gym this week, I did a Core class on Monday, 30 minutes of full on abdomen workout. Then on Wednesday I did an hour Body Combat class. That almost killed me! But despite the fact that I'm sore and tired, I will do it again next week. I was going to go to Body Balance tonight but I'm exhausted. I've had a massive day with my clients and I just want to sit in the silence and do nothing.

I'm not even too sure what I'm doing this weekend, I know I have to do a big grocery shop at some stage, I'm out of so much stuff there's really nothing to eat. I might have to resort to having porridge for dinner!

So here's a silly pic of me and my biggest insecurity, me:

Oh PS - I feel insecure coz no one comments on my blog anymore. Well Ute does coz she's awesome.

The End.

Day 17 – A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.

2011-09-20T20:59:00.000+10:00

It kinda goes without saying and you're probably all well sick of hearing about my liver. Suffice to say, in the last 12ish months this has had a huge impact upon my life.

it's not a tumour (but it is really)

Go HERE to read all about it if you missed the liver tumour train. (it's a page with all my tumour related posts)

I still haven't been back to the doctors to get the results of my latest ultrasound, I'll get there, I have to be in the mood to go as it is a complete waste of my life sitting in that waiting room for what seems like an eternity.

Yup.

Day 16 – A picture of someone who inspires you.

2011-09-18T11:13:00.000+10:00

She's almost 85, she's probably fitter than me, she's an amazing cook and a wonderful person.

My Nanna.

Day 15 – A picture of something you want to do before you die

2011-09-14T20:13:00.001+10:00


Monica Bellucci

Oh right, sorry, someTHING I want to do, not someONE. My mistake.

*ponders*

My brain is entirely mush tonight, I have had a day straight out of hell at work. I'm okay but some of my clients aren't. I think I'll be in bed soonish, I need to rest my weary brain. I was going to join the gym on the way home and go to the doctors to get my ultrasound results, but home was far more appealing to this brain weary worker.

So something I want to do before I die:

Own a bespoke house, like these Huf Houses

Failing that, I'd like to have sex again:

Day 14 – A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.

2011-09-13T20:00:00.001+10:00

this one is little coz it's scary

My little sister. Enough said.

She's due back in January and I'm seriously hanging out for that, I haven't seen her in a bloody long time (almost 2 years). Hurry up per favor.

Day 13 – A picture of your favourite band or artist

2011-09-10T16:55:00.000+10:00

Hmmmm, after consulting my Last.fm page I'm none the wiser as to who my favourites are. That depends a lot on my mood I think. I would probably say that Underworld are one of my favourite groups. But I haven't been listening to their music a lot lately. I've been listening to Sasha Involver & Invol2ver, as well as Hybrid's Disappear Here. None of them are recent albums, but I really enjoy the journeys these albums take me on.

I've been dithering about today and it has been thoroughly enjoyable. I went to the big green hardware shed to get some indoor plants for work and to get some little bits of wood. The wood was for the cat tree I purchased off ebay, the dimwits I got it from didn't put it together properly and it couldn't be constructed. I McGyvered it and now it works perfectly. It has been getting a work out in Alex's room today, Tamika is well jealous.

Tamika says I have to put one of her and her tree up or else she will feel left out.

I'm debating in my head what to have for dinner. I might go the takeaway route as I can't be arsed cooking. I'll have to ponder it a bit more!

Also, where'd Spring and the dreamy warmness go? It's bitterly cold out there today, I am suitably unimpressed.

Day 12 – A picture of something you love

2011-09-09T13:02:00.000+10:00

Woops, it's been a week since I last posted my photo thingy. Never mind. This one is hard, there are many things and people I love. But today I have decided upon just one.

Yes, I love the beach. I've always felt calmest when I'm at the beach. Whether it's a baking hot summers day or a blustery cold winters day, the beach makes me feel at ease with the world.

This photo was taken at Cape Woolamai on Phillip Island about 3 years ago, when I was first learning to use my new camera.

I've got no plans for this weekend, and considering the weather forecast that might just be a good thing. This morning as I drove out to see a client I was battered by hail and lashing rain, it was superb. It's sunny again now but there are showers dotted about on the radar. I'm happy inside with my cup of tea.

vent time

2011-09-05T19:39:00.000+10:00

[swear warning, avert your eyes if you can't cope]

I was invited to a BBQ on Saturday night for a friends birthday. I'd been looking forward to it most of the week. I got ready then drove the almost hour to the street where the BBQ was being held. I'd stupidly left the address at work, but I'd thought not to worry, I'll ring and get the address when I get there. I at least knew the street name. When I got there I parked and rang the birthday person's phone. It went straight to voicemail.

No worries, I thought, maybe they're on the phone. So I sent an sms. Over the course of half an hour or so I continued to ring and it continued to divert to voicemail. I must admit, I was beginning to get a little peeved. I didn't know anyone else who was going, hence I had no other contact numbers. So after a bit I decided to cut my losses. I made a deal in my head that if I got a phone call with the address before I made it back through the city I would turn around and go back.

As I was stuck in football traffic on Punt Road I really began to get pissed off. Not only was the traffic annoying, I was fucking well hungry and I needed a wee. So I swung into Hungry Jacks and got fries (and used the facilities). Awesome.

I got all the way home and still no message. I dropped in at Nan's as I knew my Aunts & Uncles were there, I was already regretful of having missed out on this dinner, now I was just silently fuming. However a night with my rellies calmed me down again.

When I got home I sent a FB message to the birthday person, querying just what had gone on.

/vent for a bit...

Sunday was Father's Day and I went up to Dad's. I got him a nifty little camera for Father's Day, he's leaving to go overseas for 5 weeks on Wednesday so it was good timing all round. He was pretty happy with it and it was nice to be able to give something useful. I had a lovely dinner up there with Dad & Jen.

the side paddocks

lower side paddocks & neighbours stuff

front garden

more front garden

continue rant....

So I got home lateish and impulsively checked my laptop. There was a message from my friend. They basically told me that they got tired and depressed and decided to go to the football instead. Thank you very much. You know I get that people get depressed/upset/whatever, I work with people with mental illnesses for fucks sake. What I don't get is the lack of common fucking courtesy. I could have handled an sms telling me not to bother because the person had changed their mind, it would have been nice before I drove a 2 hour round trip. But no, apparently grown up friends don't do such things. And that's why I'm pissy. I made a big contribution to the present, not sure it was even received.

WHO THE FUCK DOES SHIT LIKE THAT?

To be honest, if the person reads this I hope they get how hurt and angry I am at this behaviour. And honestly, I'm not sure I'll ever make an effort for that person again, because why would you bother?

/rant

Day 11 – A picture of something you hate

2011-09-02T20:42:00.000+10:00

Newsflash: I don't actually hate anything. Hate is such a strong, negative word and I try not to carry around such negativity with me. There are plenty of things I don't like, but nothing that I hate.

So I guess for this one I shall post nothing. Because I don't hate.

Yay that the weekend is here, I have quite a busy one planned. I've just put together one of these:

I rang my Nan this morning coz I know she goes shopping early. I asked if she was going to Aldi could she please see if there were any left. She got in just after it opened and there was one left. Woohoo. So now it's sat on my loungeroom floor. I will plant it out in a month or so, when the sun is fully in my back yard. It's still in shade during the day, which is not good for little seedlings. So I can wait for the plantings, but I couldn't wait for the putting togethers. I'm not a very patient person.

I discovered last night that Alex LOVES the feathers on a stick. He goes berserko for them. The first time I fluttered them near him he grabbed them and took off with them, feathers, string and stick! So cute. He's desperately trying to make friends with Tamika, but she's ignoring him so far. Little snob. She's far more interested in the cats that hang out in the drive way.

I'll leave you with a pic I took of Alex last night, he's such a lovely thing.

Day 10 – A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with

2011-09-01T21:14:00.000+10:00

I've been pondering this one. I've looked through my pics, I've sifted through the remnants of my memory and you know what. The only common denominator in my most messed up times is....ME. I seem to drag people along for the ride. I seem to be my own peer group pressure! So I have chosen to put a bunch of little pics up with my different partners in crime, coz there's not just one.

Martin & I - goes without saying

Dave & I - he was my shadow for a good year or more

My raver girls - we always looked out for each other

My brain twin Dave

Emma & I were a bit mad together

Em, Kelly & I - housemates outta control

There's undoubtedly more, but I got tired all of a sudden. I think all that reminiscing reminded me just how old I am and that it's almost past my bed time.

Day 09 – A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most

2011-08-31T16:09:00.000+10:00

The boy or the cat, you decide....

Ok, it's not the cat, though she is pretty damn good.

Martin has seen me at the most difficult and most down and out. He was there when my Mum died, he was there when I suffered badly from depression a year later and he was there for all the other crap. He's also been there for a lot of the good too.

He's not around much anymore, he lives in Germany with his Frau, so he's too far away to be of much use to be perfectly honest. The time difference puts paid to that! But he was there through it all and that's not something that will ever change.

completely pinched...

2011-08-31T09:25:00.000+10:00

I was reading this just now and well, it made me giggle. No in fact it made me laugh loudly in a quiet office. Pretty sure my colleagues think I'm weird, never mind. Anywho, last day of Winter and all that. This here below was written by the brilliant Matt Morgan (Russell Brand's sidekick & co-host).

(written 6/3/2007)

It feels like summer is coming! The sun is shining, I can hear the sound of a lawn being mown (not sure how, as there’s not much grass around here- maybe those ne’er-do-well hoodies have started using Flymos instead of knives? They’d be quite an effective mugging weapon actually, although somewhat limited to the length of the cable. If another hoodie carried a generator it might work. Yes that’s what they’d probably do. Actually, the noise of a lawnmower and one of those diesel-powered generators would be so intense this forward-thinking gang would no longer have stealth on their side and they’d give their position away to the Police) Anyway, I’ll start again…

Look outside, it’s all sunny. It’s March now and that means we’re in that period of ‘summer-foreplay’ they call ‘spring’. It’s not long now until everyone’s favourite season is here and everything will be alright. When its winter, if I try and imagine summer it seems like a madman’s dream. The idea of sleeping with the windows open- as insane as sleeping with the top of my head open, going out in flip-flops- as loony as going out with an orange on a lead and calling it a dog. No, when its winter, summer seems an alternative reality where gloves and scarves are woolly aliens hibernating in cupboards whilst sunglasses ride around on our faces all proud of themselves again, it seems so far-fetched. But then, at this time of year little summery clues start to appear, subtly at first, mere whiffs and hints on the breeze but they remind you that a great, hot, bright, freshly cut lawn-smelling, barbecue-tasting, aeroplane droning across a clear blue sky-sounding, friendly shimmering monster is awakening. Woohoo, ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together, throw off your winter clothes and make some noise for our old friend The Summer. Everyone go nuts!

Day 08 – A picture that makes you laugh

2011-08-29T19:12:00.000+10:00

This picture makes me laugh alright and I have no idea what was going on in it, but it looks like a lot of fun.

This would have been 2005 and that's Carel, he worked at the Astor Museum Inn in London, where I lived and worked for a while. We used to regularly have mad nights in, I'd say this is one of them. You can see my lack of tonsils!! Awesome.

Day 07 – A picture of your most treasured item

2011-08-28T21:32:00.000+10:00

I can't take this one 100% seriously. I honestly don't know what my most treasured item is... and I'm too tired to think that deep and meaningful.

So this is the first thing that came to mind. If you don't know what it is, google Lelo Nea. Probably not from work though. :)

INDEED!

Day 06 – A picture of a person you’d love to trade places with for a day

2011-08-27T16:55:00.001+10:00

If you traded places with this person, does it mean you get their brain and their knowledge? I need further clarification on this one please!

I guess I'd love to trade places with Irvin Yalom. He's my "therapeutic idol" so to speak, a lot of his work really resonates with me and the way I would like to practise. If I could get a days worth of his knowledge and experience into my head I think my world would be better off.

In other news, it's been ONE WHOLE YEAR since my surgery. Today is the anniversary. Can you believe it, coz I can't! I won't bore you with another photo of my scar, it looks much the same as the last time I subjected everyone to it! In the last few weeks it's started to prickle and itch somewhat, I'm impressed that it has taken a whole year to have that effect. I've been very lucky and I have healed well, couldn't have asked for better really. I'm going to go and see the doctor about my liver soon and see how it's performing. I'm not convinced it's working at capacity, but it's doing an okay job.

I've been pottering about today. I'm beginning to think I may have Alzheimers. I may or may not be joking here. I walked up to Southland and when I got there I had no idea why I'd come. It really baffled me. Then I decided to get a collar and tag for Alex as he made a dash into the garden this morning. So I gave the wrong mobile number to the engraver. It was my number from about 7 years ago. I had to LOOK UP my current number. WTF. This sort of stuff happens a bit. I forget words, I can be looking at something, say some strawberries and I cannot find the word for them. It gets a bit frustrating, but Google gets a good work out when I can't recall things!

So yes, after lunch & shopping I went to Bunnings to replace the marigolds that the fkn possums have chewed into non existence. I was going to buy a line trimmer too but I couldn't decide which to get so I left it. I got some blood & bone to nourish my plants. I did my gardening and now I'm reading Letters To Motherless Daughters and pondering dinner.

Maybe I'll eat all my jaffa cakes ;)

testing

2011-08-26T19:30:00.004+10:00

testing to see if this entry appears in google reader, coz my last one never did :(

edit: they both appeared at once, how very odd

too tired to blog

Day 05 – A picture of your favourite memory

2011-08-25T20:05:00.000+10:00

Are you bored of my pictures already you lot? No one is commenting so one assumes it's getting tedious already. Never mind. On with the show.

I've struggled with this photo for a few days now. I'm not exactly sure what my favourite memory is. I don't have ONE, I have a variety, all for different reasons.

The one I have picked is because I am feeling sentimental and I am missing my UK friends. As you probably know, I lived in London for close to 2 years. I went to uni whilst I was there and met and lived with some amazing people. One of them was Emma. Emma and I slept next to each other every night. Well, separated by a wall. We became great friends and got up to all kinds of mischief together. In time, I introduced her to my Suicide Girls crew and she came out to a few of our nights out. I say nights out, but they were more like mad debaucherous romps through London. This is a pic of one of those nights. At the time we were both addicted to Big Brother and used to put on the Geordie accent of the voice over guy. We thought we were funny. This pic is titled: The Housemaaates are Escaaaping! (Geordie style)

I miss those times and I have such fond/mad memories of my London days. But life moves on and I'm sure if I went back things would be different, we're all a bit more grown up and a bit less carefree.

Day 04 – A picture of your night

2011-08-21T21:03:00.000+10:00

I've spent my afternoon with my friend Harvey, we've been gardening like mad. My back aches now but I feel very satisfied. I hope it all grows up nicely.

After dinner we have been watching Torchwood, catching up on the episodes we've missed. I looked over and Harvs was sat with a cushion on his head, so I thought I'd join in. Shite pic but it's damned funny. I wish the weekend wasn't finishing, it's been lovely weather and I've thoroughly enjoyed it. I have three days of training this week so I won't be out and about to enjoy the sun.

Day 03 – A picture of the cast from your favourite show

2011-08-20T12:38:00.000+10:00

I was kind and didn't blog this yesterday, given I practically spammed my own blog. I guess my favourite show is Doctor Who. I know it's not to everyone's tastes, but I was brought up on it and now it's back I couldn't be happier. I'm going to find an older cast pic, not that I prefer one Doctor over another, but the one I have in mind has The Master in it, who I love. Let's see what I can find.

Okay well not quite what I wanted, but ace nonetheless. On the right is Donna's Grandpa (Wilf) played by Bernard Cribbins, David Tennant as the Doctor and John Simm as the Master. I particularly loved John Simms incarnation of the Master, hence why I chose this pic. I think the current Doctor played by Matt Smith is epic, however he hasn't come across the Master yet, and I doubt he will be played by Simm again (though one never knows!)

Oh and it was a Christmas Special, hence the Christmas Tree. "The End of Time" was much anticipated and in my opinion it didn't disappoint.

One week til Doctor Who returns after a mid season break and I'm champing at the bit to see it again. Torchwood (spin off series) just hasn't lived up to the hype and I've temporarily stopped watching it. *sigh*

For Ute to see my eye freckles!!!

2011-08-19T16:24:00.000+10:00

Can you tell I'm being slack on my RDO. Oh well. This is the most posts I've done all year heh.

The Vinnies men picked up my table about half an hour ago, I think both of them were mute, they didn't even thank me for my donation *sigh*. Why are people so uncommunicative these days. Anyway, I hope someone gets good use out of my table. I've had it for 17 years and it's still in awesome condition.

Anywho the reason for this post is to show Ute my eye freckles:

Voila! There they iz in their spotty goodness!

I think I'll have pizza for dinner, because I can. Mmmm pizza.

And because I can, here's Alex and his big green eyes:

How not to do customer service - internet style

2011-08-19T15:26:00.000+10:00

This may be a long and ranty post, but it's something I need to get off my chest.

A few years back, when we were living in Brunswick we had Internode as our ISP. We were always happy with their service. However back then they were a little more pricey & when my old flatmate (who was the person on the bill) moved out, I couldn't afford to reconnect with them, so chose Netspace. I'd used them years previous, when I lived in Berwick & Bentleigh. They had been fine too. So of course when I moved here I just got my internet relocated, it was easy. I must admit, Netspace had been fine until they were bought out by iiNet, but that's when the shit storm started.

I got a letter (or was it an email?) stating that Netspace were moving me to a "new plan". An upgrade they called it.

We're emailing to let you know of an upgrade scheduled for your current broadband plan.

Between June 22nd and July 31st, we'll be switching you over to one of our new plans at no additional cost. This change won't cost you a thing and you'll still get access to the same speeds and quota allowances.

Same speeds my fat arse. Myself, along with numerous other Netspace customers who had this change foisted upon us discovered just how "Special" this plan was (special is something they called it, not me). It meant that during peak times, 6pm - midnight or thereabouts, our "Special" plan turned into a dialup plan. Speeds fell through the floor. One only has to take a peek at the Whirlpool Netspace Forum to see how disgruntled people were. The worst thing was, Netspace agreed that there was a problem, blamed it on the fact that we'd all been transferred to Telstra infrastructure because of the iiNet takeover, then went silent. I waited weeks and weeks, patiently, to see if they would fix the problem, whilst the chorus of complaint got louder. Alas, nothing but silence. So I decided it was high time to go back to Internode. As have many other people who have been put out by this "upgrade".

Today I have an RDO and I have finally put my order in to get things moving back to Internode. I will not put up with shoddy customer service or silence. I expect things to be fixed, or at least for there to be communication about what is happening. So farewell Netspace/iiNet and good luck with retaining your other customers, because the dissent is growing.

Day 02 – A picture of you and the person you have been close with for the longest.

2011-08-18T18:48:00.004+10:00

I had to think about this one. I'm rubbish with timelines and how long I've known people. But then I think I've figured it out. There are definitely other people I've known for longer, but I'm not that close to most of them anymore for whatever reason.

This person is my Partner In Evil. We're not physically close, in fact we live in different states, she's in Sydney and I'm in Melbourne. But I shared some amazing times with her and all I have to show for that are two pissy photos of us together! (well 3, but one is fuzzy & crap!) We talk almost every day via email or Gtalk. We talk utter rubbish, make poo jokes and well, speaking for myself, I could tell her just about anything and I know she wouldn't judge.

She came to Melbourne earlier this year and I'm going up to Sydney in January, so hopefully we'll remember to get a picture of the both of us this time around!

We've known each other for about 10 years now, and nothing much has changed really. Well apart from her meeting her partner and having 2 gorgeous girls. We're still as nutty as we were way back then. Just a little older and possibly wiser and less able to have late nights out!

So, introducing my P.I.E. Lauren. I've included a photo from our raver days and one with me being ridiculous & her watching on in the background.

from our raver days! (that's a chuppa chup stick, not weird teeth)

from my 30th, look at what she has to put up with!

Day 01 – A picture of yourself with fifteen facts

2011-08-17T18:31:00.000+10:00

Hmmm, a picture of myself. I have a lot of them given my propensity for taking self portraits (something I don't do a lot of these days). I think I'll chose my favourite 'artistic' pic of myself for this very first post.

Fifteen Facts:

I work with mentally ill people & I love my job and my clients
I'm a mad catwoman and proud
I hate shopping, like really really hate it. It gives me an instant rage & headache
I have a cool scar that is nearly 30cms long, right across my abdomen on the right side
I'm a bit of a loner and I am happy in my own company
I attract kids, they always smile and giggle at me. Maybe I look like a clown?
I have a ridiculous sweet tooth and constantly crave chocolate, it's a daily battle
I have freckles in my eyes
I'm a dual British & Australian citizen
My Mum died of cancer when I was 27
I'm a bit of a control freak, I like everything to be how I want it but I'm not obsessive
I have no sense of style, I really need a stylist, or someone with a brain for clothes
I have a strong personality, I’m honest, I’m blunt and I can be loud. Some people don’t like, or are intimidated by me because of this, but those who love me do so because of who I am. I will never change myself for another person
I have a body that is always falling apart. I have endometriosis, a borked liver and food intolerances. So tedious.
I don't think I'll ever get married & have kids and that doesn't bother me one bit

100 Days of Photos

2011-08-17T07:02:00.001+10:00

Given I've been blogging now for um, 10 years, it's inevitable that I run out of things to say. More to the point, the older I get the more boring and sedate my life becomes. I'm not complaining, it's just a fact. So given Ute is doing the 30 day photo challenge I did a wee google and found a 100 day photo challenge. I thought, well why the heck not. It will give me something to blog about and you might learn something about me, or fall asleep. Either way, I'm not bothered. I'm not going to be super worried about making sure I do one each and every day, it will be 100 days over how ever long it takes me. It may even be another 10 years. But let's hope not huh.

Here's the list of topics, I will start another blog post later with Day One.

Day 01 – A picture of yourself with fifteen facts.

Day 02 – A picture of you and the person you have been close with for the longest.

Day 03 – A picture of the cast from your favourite show.

Day 04 – A picture of your night.

Day 05 – A picture of your favourite memory.

Day 06 – A picture of a person you’d love to trade places with for a day.

Day 07 – A picture of your most treasured item.

Day 08 – A picture that makes you laugh.

Day 09 – A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.

Day 10 – A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with.

Day 11 – A picture of something you hate.

Day 12 – A picture of something you love.

Day 13 – A picture of your favourite band or artist.

Day 14 – A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.

Day 15 – A picture of something you want to do before you die.

Day 16 – A picture of someone who inspires you.

Day 17 – A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.

Day 18 – A picture of your biggest insecurity.

Day 19 – A picture of you when you were little.

Day 20 – A picture of somewhere you’d love to travel.

Day 21 – A picture of something you wish you could forget.

Day 22 – A picture of something you wish you were better at.

Day 23 – A picture of your favourite book.

Day 24 – A picture of something you wish you could change.

Day 25 – A picture of your day.

Day 26 – A picture of something that means a lot to you.

Day 27 – A picture of yourself and a family member.

Day 28 – A picture of something you’re afraid of.

Day 29 – A picture that can always make you smile.

Day 30 – A picture of someone you miss.

Day 31 – A picture of a tradition you have.

Day 32 – A picture of a crazy night.

Day 33 – A picture of the house you grew up in.

Day 34 – A picture of your currently most played CD.

Day 35 – A picture of your favourite place to eat.

Day 36 – A picture of your ‘other half’.

Day 37 – A picture of the people you spend most of your time with.

Day 38 – A picture of the best part of your day.

Day 39 – A picture of your favourite movie.

Day 40 – A picture of your favourite Disney character.

Day 41 – A picture of your pet.

Day 42 – A picture of your dream house.

Day 43 – A picture of something you can’t function without.

Day 44 – A picture of someone you’re told you look like.

Day 45 – A picture of your room.

Day 46 – A picture of where you wish you were right now.

Day 47 – A picture of your favourite place to shop.

Day 48 – A picture of your favourite actress/actor.

Day 49 – A picture of where you live.

Day 50 – A picture of your most frequented place.

Day 51 – A picture of your dream car.

Day 52 – A picture of your favourite sport.

Day 53 – A picture of someone you think is hot.

Day 54 – A picture of the one thing you would bring if you were stranded on a deserted island.

Day 55 – A picture of the last movie you saw in the cinema

Day 56 – A picture of something that makes you happy.

Day 57 – A picture of your favourite holiday.

Day 58 – A picture of your favourite animal.

Day 59 – A picture of a random item that you own.

Day 60 – The final picture of yourself.

Day 61 – School class picture

Day 62 – Last place you travelled to

Day 63 – Sports awards

Day 64 – Favourite childhood book

Day 65 – A picture of you and your best friend

Day 66 – A picture in your roomy

Day 67 – Something Green

Day 68 – A magazine you like

Day 69 – Something Red

Day 70 – Something you borrowed from someone else

Day 71 – A picture of your favourite piece of jewellery

Day 72 – A stuffed animal

Day 73 – Your lunch

Day 74 – Something you found under your bed

Day 75 – You and a friend

Day 76 – Something that annoys you

Day 77 – The last thing that you bought

Day 78 – Your sunglasses

Day 79 – A ticket from somewhere you’ve been

Day 80 – Your favourite childhood movie

Day 81 – Something you baked

Day 82 – The most embarrassing thing in your closet

Day 83 – The moon tonight

Day 84 – Your favourite pair of shorts

Day 85 – Something Pink

Day 86 – Something your Mum bought you

Day 87 – Something you hold dear to your heart

Day 88 – Your bathroom

Day 89 – What’s in your fridge?

Day 90 – Your current school photo

Day 91 – Something that made you smile today

Day 92 – Something weird in your house

Day 93 – The view from your bedroom window

Day 94 – What your doing right now

Day 95 – Something yellow

Day 96 – A place you went today

Day 97 – Something heart shaped

Day 98 – Your favourite nail polish colour

Day 99 – Something that makes you feel accomplished

Day 100 – The final picture of yourself

Happy Birthday Tamika Moo

2011-08-14T21:10:00.000+10:00

It's my little girl's 4th birthday today. Four already, where the heck does that time go? She's currently flaked out in front of the heater on her favourite mat, after spending the day in the garden in a sunny patch.

I went to the football last night for the first time in years. It could be as many as 7 years since I last went or it could be that I have a bad memory. Either way it's been a while and it was a great night. Was good to spend some time with my Dad, though I did have to tell him to stop shouting as he was annoying the people around us!

I have a four day week this week, with an RDO on Friday. Yay. Unfortunately I have things to do on that day, no sleeping in for me.

Anywho, things are good, I'm sleepy and want to go to bed soonish. I'm thinking of stealing Ute's idea of doing 30 days of photos for my blog, coz it's been pretty uninspiring round here lately. We'll see....

Thursday, August and warm weather, ooh and cat talk

2011-08-04T06:30:00.000+10:00

Apologies to those of you who don't like cats, because I'm going to be talking about them a fair bit. Feel free to skip the fur related bits.

I made great progress with Alex last night. He allowed me to pat him, in fact he went slightly bonkers for some pettings. He ended up rolling over on his back and showed me his stomach. For those of you into cat psych stuff, this means he trusts me and is relaxing. I was so wrapped.

We've still got a way to go. I'm not daft enough to think that one sign of affection is the green light to everything else, so I'm still taking it slowly.

I spent a great portion of yesterdays balmy 23 degree weather (yes, it's apparently supposed to be Winter here) in the sun with my clients, it was splendiferous. Just what I needed in fact. Last night it only got down to 17.3, which is more like a late spring/early summer night. My dim neighbours put their heater on (it's a split system and I can hear it) at around 7pm, when it was still 20 degrees. I had the house opened up with the warm breeze drifting through. BRING ON SPRING! All the blossoms are out, the magnolias are blooming, it's wonderful. I have jonquils in my garden and hopefully my freesias aren't too far off.

Oh and somehow we've slipped into August already and the year is marching by. In just over 3 weeks it will have been a whole YEAR since my liver surgery. A freakin year?! I'm a bit flabbergasted with that to be honest. But also pleased that I have really done quite well since then. I haven't had many side effects. The mail thing I was worried about, believe it or not, was losing my gall bladder. People had filled my head full of guff about how I'd be sick all the time without it, not be able to eat this that and the other. To be honest, it hasn't made any difference. I've always had to watch what I eat, no overly fatty or oily stuff, so I just continued on with this. The only thing I notice now is that I cannot each large amounts of meat as it gives me the night sweats big time, but that is my liver. I also can't eat large meals, I tend to graze my way through the day. But my tumour is gone and my first year without it has been wonderful.

Introducing...

2011-07-30T21:44:00.000+10:00

The lovely Alex came home with me today. He's currently settling into the spare room as he's a tad shy. Poor Alex has been a bit unsettled, he originally came from the UK to Perth, then to Taggerty. A lady adopted him recently (from Melbs) but she had no idea that Bengals aren't really cuddly lap cats so she was severely disappointed and tearfully gave him back. This little story alone made me want to give him a good home and having had experience with unsettled/shy cats I think I will do okay. So for the moment he's in the spare room with everything he needs and when he gets more confident introductions will occur and we'll see how he goes. I think he'll end up being a sweetie. He travelled very well in the car, with not a peep out of him, I guess he's used to travelling by now the poor lad.

Tamika is curious that there's something in the spare room but she's not overly fussed. She saw him sitting in the spare room window and sat outside staring, but since coming inside she's lost interest again!

I'm so sleepy after my 4 hour round trip. My body is all achey and needs a big stretch. I might go to bed shortly!

Monday Musings

2011-07-25T20:03:00.000+10:00

About 6 years ago I almost purchased myself a Bengal kitten. This was whilst I was living in London and I fully believed that I was going to live there forever. But as we all know I had to come home and thankfully I never did get that wee beautiful kitten or it would have had a looooong journey to Australia.

After my palava with Cooper I was kinda put off getting another dog to be honest. Then a little while ago I came across the photos I took of that little Bengal kitten from the UK.

she was adorbs!

Bengals are a lot like dogs (seriously) but they're cats. They're full of personality and they're stunning to boot. So it got me thinking, and researching. I came across lots of lovely sites with Bengal kittens, but kittens are a lot of work. Then I found a lady who had 2 Bengal boys up for adoption. They are ex stud cats, 3 years old and both are simply fabulous to look at.

So the upshot of this is that this weekend I will be visiting this lovely lady and her clan of Bengal cats, and I will be seeing if either one of those boys will fit into my house with my little Moo Girl. It's still a lot of work, integrating a new cat into an established household, but I've done it in the past so I know what I'm in for.

Now, onto the pictures. (to be honest they're both striking in their own ways, I can't pick either one simply from a picture!)

This one is called Alex:

This one is nicknamed Gary (because his coat glitters apparently!):

Gorgeous huh?!

And in other news, I got my tax refund back after only 11 days. Gotta be happy with that. Even better is that it was more than what the etax thingy estimated, so woohoo to that.

I had a 3 day long weekend, having an RDO on Friday which was awesome. Spent a large chunk of it shouting encouraging words at Cadel, who we all know now won the Tour de France. I can't believe it's over for another year already. The countdown begins til next year!!

what?

2011-07-15T20:46:00.000+10:00

I know, it's been nearly 2 weeks since I last updated. Slack of me. I often think of writing stuff in here, but then I get distracted or think better of it. Mostly I'm tired after busy days at work. I've almost been at my new job for 3 months, I'm nearly through probation. I'm still really really happy and enjoying my work, loving that each day and each week is completely different to the rest.

In the past fortnight I've had many challenges including nearly losing one of my clients to a major heart attack (he's not out of the woods yet). Life's short folks and once again I've been reminded of this. My clients all have mental health problems, so some days are more formidable than others. But you know, on the whole, they're a really sweet bunch to work with and I get oh so much out of each and every day.

It was rather foggy on the way to work this morning, which I thought was kinda cool.


No officer, I wasn't driving & taking photos!

When I got to work it was nice and sunny, but the fog followed me and soon the city was shrouded in a nice thick blanket. My first client was in Port Melbourne and it was lovely and sunny there, so I was happy.

I've been paying attention to, but not watching much of le Tour de France. It's on far too late for this early riser, so I get to watch the stage highlights on SBS at night when I get home. On weekends I try to catch a couple of stages, but I've been hopeless much past 10pm! Cav has been doing well again which is great to see and Cadel may even get a podium finish this year.

Anywho, it's currently 5 degrees outside, so it's going to be a chilly night. So thankful for my awesome gas heater.

shiny new things

2011-07-02T17:57:00.002+10:00

I fluked an invite to Google+ this week and so far I've been impressed. Yes it's a bit like facebook, but with less security suprises and a nicer layout. Google lets users have complete control over security from the start and if you want out you can leave and take your bat & ball with you, leaving nothing behind. Unlike FB, which when you leave all your stuff actually remains with them, for them to fiddle secretly with. I sent out a few invites without much thought, before Google slammed the door shut again. Now I'm pining for more people to be able to join, so one can see the full value of it. Patience my dear, patience.

I had been pondering in my head whether to upgrade my phone and get a new one, especially after reading Andrew's favourable experiences with his shiny new Samsung. However logic kicked in and really I don't need a new phone, mine does the job perfectly well. I have added a few more apps and found the wonderful SlideIT which makes typing so much easier. Once again I have Andrew to thank for this, though in a round about way. He had talked about Swype and got me curious. Whilst there was no Swype for my phone, SlideIT does exist and it is brilliant. No more jabbing at the screen with my fingers that felt like massive sausages, I can slide my way about and words magically, and mostly accurately, appear. I like.

So I'd saved a little money, in anticipation of maybe getting a new mobile (was going to buy outright), then I got a cheque in the mail (I know, so old fashioned right) from an educational tax expenses adjustment the Australian Tax Office has just completed. It got me thinking somewhat. Last year we purchased a Beyonwiz PVR for my Nan of all people. My Nan, an 84 year old, has a personal video recorder hard drive thing so that she can record tv shows etc. Of course I have been jealous of her technological prowess and I decided what with Le Tour starting tonight, I might want one myself. I'm certainly not going to be staying awake past my bedtime of 10pm, so this will record the days cycling for me and I can watch it over breakfast/dinner/whatever. IceTV had a dealio going where you got the new Beyonwiz P2 2TB PVR, plus a Slinglink Turbo, plus a years subscription to IceTv for a reasonable price. And I thought bugger it, I've been a good Fenstar, why the heck not. It should be delivered next week. Because of the IceTV subscription I have already set it to record Le Tour, even without me having the PVR doohickey. When I do get it and work out how it all goes together, which may take a week or so lol, all my nights worth of cycling action will be waiting for me. Aaaaah.

Phew, that wore me out just thinking about it. In time travelling news, I'm not quite sure how it got to be July already, but here we are. Time to do taxes again and hope for a refund. We really have been spoiled with some lovely Winter weather the last little bit, by lovely I mean sunny and more Autumnal, however tomorrow it's all meant to shift sideways and the rain and cold will be back again. Never mind, it was good whilst it lasted.

That's about it from me. I have to go over to technology Nan's house to show her the video my sister sent from South Africa. My sister is currently in Mozambique on holidays, apparently it's the Thailand of Africa. I can't wait til she is back in Australia, I'm beginning to really miss her in my life.

relative

2011-06-26T18:59:00.000+10:00

My Dad rang me today, asking if I'd like to come to lunch with my Uncle & Aunt. I thought about it for a bit then figured why not. I hadn't seen them in quite a number of years and I was interested to see how they were doing.

Well I certainly found out. In fact the whole afternoon was all about them. I don't think they even realise how self centred they are, they just talk constantly about themselves. Even when Dad's partner obviously tried to change the focus onto someone else, i.e. me for a few minutes, the conversation inevitably ended up back on them.

I guess this is why I stopped making the effort to stay in contact with them in the first place. They're nice enough people but they're very full of themselves. They're not short of a dollar either and they don't mind letting everyone know as much.

I'm just glad they didn't bother asking me much about my life, they might have been disappointed that I'm not following the family tradition of breeding.

But back to more mundane things, I've started on a second lot of BP tablets as I had a bad reaction to the first. This lot seems to be agreeing with me a bit more, so that's a damn relief. Work's been super busy, a lot of our clients seem to be having a hard time of it lately, it must be the cold weather and shorter days. I had a 2 day course last week and I have another training day this week, so my brain is in asplode mode. I went out for dinner on Friday night and had a lovely night.

KHUN THAI *giggles*

Feeling good about the world.

the wires and energy

2011-06-15T19:15:00.000+10:00

My new bin arrived today, slack bastards left it out on the street. Ha ha. Thankfully they put my unit & street number on it, so I knew it was mine. I found it when I put my recycling out, so now I'll have to lug out my rubbish. It's a long walk to the street, about 250 metres. I'm too lazy to walk that far ;)

Anywho, had a busy day with clients. I've been taking our Masters placement student out with me, it's been nice to have another person's view on things. She said something interesting to me tonight on the drive back to work. She said that I definitely had the weirdest clients, then laughed and said that it was okay because I was the only one who would be able to cope with them anyway! I hate compliments but I just grinned and told her that's coz I take no bullshit! I have a new client tomorrow and I think he's going to be a real challenge from what I've heard. Let's see if I cope!!

And in other news I think I need some chocolate.

Rubbish to the bin first...

where ya bin?

2011-06-09T18:19:00.003+10:00

I'm not sure why, but some cockface has stolen my bin. I put it out last Wednesday night as per usual and it disappeared after collection in the morning and before I got home that night. I thought maybe someone had collected the wrong bin & it would resurface today but alas, I just checked and still no bin.

Why the heck would anyone want to steal a bin? There were 30+ bins out there, why mine? It has stickers with the number of my unit on it, I just don't get it.

So I'll have to contact the council and no doubt jump through hoops to get a replacement bin.

*sigh*

EDIT: I realised where my bin is tonight as I walked to my Nan's. The residents of unit 1 have stolen it and removed the other number so that only the 1 remains. The thing that gives it away is their other bin has a different street number on it and the stolen one has mine. They've semi tried to rip it off and failed. Given that I spoke to the council and they're organising me a new bin I decided to put a "BIN THIEF" note on the bin on the way back home tonight. Honestly, given how easy it was for me to get a new one they must be complete dead shits if they actually needed a new bin. Whatever, karma will bite them in the arse and I hope it's painful.

My ex rubbish bin

The note I blu-tacked to the lid

I wish I could have taken a photo of it, alas it was 11pm and it was too dark and the bin sat below their window and I really didn't want to be discovered. It was bad enough that I was wearing my hella squeaky converse and had to creep up the path noiselessly ha ha ha.

Getting Grumpy in my old age!

2011-05-30T20:13:00.000+10:00

I've been looking at joining up with some fitness classes over the last couple of weeks. I need to get my body back into shape and more importantly, my blood pressure is sky high and I need to address that too. Unfortunately this may well be because my liver is not functioning properly (blood test results imminent) or simply because my genes are doomed as we have high BP on both sides of my family. I'm not on BP tablets yet, but I am sure that's happening. My diastolic (the lower number of the two) has been really high, which isn't good at all. Anywho, add that to my list of body failures.

So I emailed a local 'boutique' fitness place, via their website. They were a bit more expensive than the local pool/leisure centre, but I figured their class sizes would be smaller. The web form asked you to specify how you wanted to be contacted so I picked email as I can't answer my mobile phone at work (mostly because it's on silent and I don't use it as I have a work mobile). So what do they do? Ring me on my mobile. Okay, fair enough. Then after I booked a session with them, I changed my mind as I'd picked a 6am class and they told me at the end they don't have showers and I would prefer not to have to go home and get showered/changed. So I rang and left a message on their answering machine, specifying for them to ring me on my work number (as I knew I would be at my desk). So what do they do, ring my f*cking mobile again.

I'm sorry, but if you can't follow instructions then I don't want to have any sort of relationship with you and you've just lost my business. I may be getting grumpy in my old age but that just proves to me that they're lazy and a bit inconsiderate. I will go with the bigger classes at the cheaper place, because when I had to deal with them they were efficient and pleasant. And they have showers, lots of them.

Is it just me that is swayed by stuff like this or am I being fussy?

Sharing

2011-05-21T22:15:00.000+10:00

I wanted to share this picture I took outside of work the other day. We don't get a great deal of red leaves in Autumn, but boy are these striking. I'd been meaning to take a pic of them for a few days. I had to go on an emergency superglue expedition as the bottom bit came off the heel of my boot & on the way back this tree looked just marvellous. I have no idea what sort of tree it is, but it reminds me of my japanese maple, only much much bigger.

Anywho, in case you were wondering, the superglue kinda did the trick, after I spilled it all over my fingers then got tissue stuck to my fingers, then felt sick from inhaling the fumes. It might be time for a new pair of boots, but who's got that kind of money.

In Memory of my Mum

2011-05-16T16:42:00.002+10:00

Saturday, May 18, 2002

So this is it

Mum passed away at 4.30pm on Thursday 16th May.
We were all there with her. She wasn't in any pain.
How the hell do you go on after something like this?

"The loss of the daughter to the mother, the mother to the daughter, is the essential female tragedy."

Adrienne Rich

The answer to this is you just do. You have to. You're basically given no choice about it. At the start I felt like I was living in a weird disconnected world, watching it all happen to someone else. That probably would have been easier. I also did a lot of sitting and staring blankly into space, or crying.

But 9 years on here I am. All grown up (kind of) and living my life, without my Mother. Sure, there's a lot that changed and most of it was for the better, but some of it wasn't. I still have the emotional scars, there are things I won't talk about, parts of me that no one will ever know about that were created as a direct result of that traumatic day. But for the most part I'm a fully functioning, living, breathing human.

You grieve and you learn to live with the hurt and the rest of it. I changed, probably in lots of little ways, but I definitely changed. I'd like to think I'm more compassionate and that I have more empathy for my fellow beings, but I also know there's a darker side to me that never used to be there.

Losing my Mother sculpted me into the person I am today. I sold my house and lived in London for 2 years because I lost my Mum. I went to uni aged 30 because I lost my Mum. I started living my life for me, trying to live in the here and now because I lost my Mum.

I often wonder how Mum would view me now, as a 36 year old woman (*cough*). I hope she'd be proud.

Mum's memorial plaque, we trimmed the plants back today, they'd gone mad in the last couple of months!

Eurovision

2011-05-14T20:09:00.001+10:00

Welcome back Blogger, that little interlude was a bit annoying, could you please bring back my lost comments, I haven't been getting many lately so they all count!!

I'm sat on the couch watching the cheesy spectacle that is the Eurovision Song Contest. God I love it. Though there's been a distinct lack of white outfits this year, which is disappointing! Plenty of cheese and key changes and currently we have a beat boxer. I have a soft spot for beat boxing. It takes me back to a mad night of raving with Patrick Lindsey @ Kryal Castle. Anywho, I digress. Tomorrow night, for the SBS Eurovision Grand Final screening I will be going to a friends house where we have a Eurovision night. Each year they cook the cuisine of the host country, so this year it's German food. We eat lots, have our own scoring and have plenty of laughs. I so can't wait.

As I sat in traffic, I mused how cool it would be to live above a 7/11. Hah!

I put TheMoo's cat tree next to the window, she's watching for cat burglars

Mr Grumpy is grumpy


I wish I could root my phone, no that's not rude, it's what you do!

Ooh and I purchased this bag from Etsy, because I hated every boring piece of crap that was in the shops. Honestly, there was NOTHING that even came close to interesting. This one is super dooper awesome, handmade and wasn't expensive at all. I so can't wait til it arrives. I needed something that would fit all my stuff that I have to take when I meet with my clients', this one fit the bill.

The lives of others

2011-05-11T19:32:00.001+10:00

I came across this blog, which is a translation of a Japanese medical aid worker who helped after the earthquake and tsunami. If you have the time, please read it. It's both heartbreaking and heartwarming all at once.

I'm loving this weird chilly weather we're having. It's currently pissing down. Earlier today I had to drive to another of our offices and then home and both times it hailed madly. Brilliant! There's nothing better however, than coming home and snuggling with TheMoo in front of the heater. She's ever so cuddly in this cold.

I had my first client assessment this week and I also have my client list, so I will make contact with them by the end of the week. This is exciting and daunting. But I can't wait.

Still ultra tired but this soon will pass.

Twits & Weekends

2011-05-07T12:46:00.001+10:00

Let me start with a tiny rant.

It's days like today that I don't get some people who use Twitter. Said people wander about their town/city taking photos of their travels and posting them to twitter, usually with a sarky comment, or maybe it's meant to be insightful. Is this meant to make them cool? Intelligent? Awesome? I mean usually they're shite photos too. I get it if you're proving a point, ie a stupidly long queue or something actually interesting or funny, but mostly they're rubbish, boring photos that I could care less about. Are people's lives really that empty that they have to fill it with this nonsense?

Anywho.

New job is ace. I've spent the week doing reading and more reading, trying to remember my colleagues names, wandering up and down Chapel St (it hasn't changed much), cussing at peak hour traffic and moving my car from 2hr parking spot to another 2hr parking spot. It's been really enjoyable. Next week I already have an assessment with a client booked in, as well as a million meetings. Bring it on I say. I have my own work car to use so I can go visit clients and everyone I work with seems lovely. Aaah what a relief.

Other than that, I'm totally brain dead, ready to go back to bed for a Nanna nap and wondering what people do on weekends.

P.S. - May - WTF?

pieces

2011-04-29T16:50:00.000+10:00

So I finished work last Sunday and boy was I glad to get out of there. The environment at that work place was getting more and more caustic because of a couple of unhinged people who were hell bent on their own f*cked up agendas. I breathed a big sigh of relief when I exited the building for the final time. Somewhat ironically one of said unhinged people also resigned, but has made everyone's lives hell in his final days. I've certainly had lots of angry texts and phone calls from my poor former work colleagues.

I've had the week off, been trying to readjust to days again. How novel. Have been also trying to find some decent work clothes to buy. I've put on 10 - 15kg since my surgery last year hence I don't fit into my old work clothes. Also 'smart casual' means nothing to me and I've been fretting about being overdressed. Why is it the minute you go shopping with cash burning a hole in your pocket you find nothing that appeals to you? Frustrating.

Once I get back into a proper work routine I will attempt to fix my weight problem. The crux of the issue is I am a lazy sod. I don't eat badly, but working nights has wrecked my metabolism and energy levels. Ideally I'd like a personal trainer, but my new wage won't allow me to splash that much cash! I'm desperately unfit, ugh I just hate it all at the moment.

Anywho, apparently there's a wedding of sorts on tonight our time, I'm planning on doing some grocery shopping and going to Officeworks for some things. Then I'll watch some of the shows I've downloaded. I won't be watching any wedding business, it's invaded my brain enough this week. I made the mistake of listening to Sally boringvoice on the radio this morning and people were ringing in about crap. People actually believe that our PM shouldn't be attending the wedding because she's SINGLE and an ATHIEST!

WHAT THE FIRETRUCK?!? Are we still living in the 1900's?

I wanted to bash my head against the nearest hard object. Not to mention the stupid c*cks who honestly thought the Chasers were going to be AT the wedding and were going to disrupt it and so it was good they'd been banned. I mean come on people, do you even live in the same reality I do? At times I really really hate the people that live in this world. Aaaaaargh!!!

Oh and if you're a Doctor Who fan and haven't watched the first episode, make sure you catch it this weekend on the ABC. Or something. Coz I said.

once a year, thank goodness

2011-04-15T01:27:00.000+10:00

Happy 103rd Birthday To Me!

I want this cake, it's cheesecake apparently. Baked cheesecake is my favourite. Oh yes.

Such a shame I'm at work, but hey, I don't actually give a hoot considering I'm leaving in 7 shifts.

OH YES!

Feeling Spoiled

2011-04-14T01:30:00.000+10:00

My family took me out for dinner tonight, to Wild Oak in Olinda. It was a lovely night with super delicious food. I had atlantic salmon and it had a yummy crispy skin and was just melt in the mouth amazing. In fact everyone was highly complimentary about their meals. I found the menu list to be a bit short, but the food made up for it. (their online menu is a bit different to what we had last night)

I had a dessert of a chocolate tart with raspberry coulis and a personalised message in chocolate writing.

Fabulouso.

It's been a good week, new job, birthday goodness and actual birthday to come. This is the first year in a long time that I've been genuinely happy to have a birthday.

Must be senility setting in!

The News is GOOD

2011-04-12T15:13:00.000+10:00

I've just come back from work because I HANDED IN MY RESIGNATION!!!!

Yes folks, I finally got A NEW JOB!

I'm so excited. I got a phone call yesterday offering me the position after having an interview last week. I will be doing support work which is a nice mix of counselling and psychosocial rehab. I can't wait. Best of all, I'll be back on days, so no more el vampiro for me.

Now if only I could get my freakin refund for the bloody dog, things would be perfect.

Aaah it's a good birthday week. Dinner with the fam on Wednesday night and although I have to work Friday, which is my actual birthday, I now don't care! Bring on the cake biatches!

oh and ps - I am totes in love with this juice:

It's flamin delish and divine. Oh yes.

Hump Day Round Up

2011-04-06T17:39:00.002+10:00

What a gorgeous week it has been weather wise. Perfect for being a cat stretched out in the sunshine. Utter bliss.

I had round 2 of my blood tests this week and it's amazing what a difference of opinion can do. This doctor seems to think that my abnormal enzyme readings are okay considering I recently had half my liver removed. I'm inclined to believe him and I shall. My heart monitor reading came back fine too. If I get more chest pains they'll do a stress test and make me run on a treadmill, LOL!

My uncle had a stent inserted into his blocked valve and was off home today, feeling much better.

The best news of the week is that I have a job interview tomorrow for 2 positions that I applied for within the same organisation. I'm rather excited about this, it could be an early birthday present for me, though I am not getting my hopes up, I've been here before. It's not a counselling role as such, but it's a support worker role, something I am still happy to do, so fingers and toeses crossed folks.

I've been madly scanning photos this week, not quite sure why, maybe it's the impending year older thing, hah! Naw to be honest I've been wanting to do it for ages, I guess it's good to have a digital copy of old photos, just in case.

I adore this pic of me and Mum. I miss her so much, these make my heart warm.

Check those boots, that's me in kindergarten. That's as far as I've got with the scans. Click on the pics for bigger versions.

PS - just checked my google analytics, wtf is with the phenomenal jump in hits on my blog? Check this:

Weird-a-rama.
Now check out the keywords. Apparently my blog is awesome if you want to find out about vaginas. Yup, you heard it right, I'm now a vagina guru. Hurrah.

something in the water?

2011-04-02T22:47:00.000+11:00

My Uncle had a heart attack the other night, maybe there's something in the air. He's doing okay from what I've been told.

That's why I worry about my health, we've got so many freaking hereditary crappy things going on. Bowel cancer on Mum's side, heart disease on Dad's side, diabetes on both. I need to live the life of a .... oh goodness knows what. I don't think there's any definite answer to it all, I try my best, I guess that's all one can do.

I'm working a mad night shift tonight 6pm - 5am with an extra hour coz of daylight savings. Tedious or what? Glad they let me off the hour and a half early at the end of my shift or I may well have scratched my own eyes off my face.

quick update

2011-03-30T16:14:00.003+11:00

Well my heart tests came back normal, which is good.

My liver however is another story unfortunately. My liver enzyme readings were very high and my blood wasn't clotting the way it should be, as well as my sodium being low, which is to do with the liver as well apparently.

So next week I'll go back and have the tests repeated, and we'll see how they go. If they're still abnormal I'll have to have liver scans again.

Oh joy.

And well if I have chest pains again I have to call an ambulance, lol. I have ambulance cover so I'm not worried about that, just of being a waste of time pain.

Anyone know where one can purchase a new body from?

LMAO!!!

In good news I went to the ABC's Comedy Bites night last night and had a fabulous night full of laughs and good company. The weather was balmy as we sat outside eating dinner, a perfect Melbourne night. We saw some awesome comedians and decided on going to see some of their shows. There were a couple of questionable ones but 95% of them were really good. I adore the Comedy Festival, especially as it's around my birthday so it's a good excuse to go out and enjoy yourself.

Matters of the Heart

2011-03-28T20:40:00.002+11:00

So, ah, I've been having odd chest pains. It started a few weeks ago and to be quite honest I thought nothing of it. They were mild, I thought it was a muscle or something. Then at work last week I had a bigger pain that really hurt and felt uncomfortable, but it wasn't that bad. Once again I didn't actually think much of it! But then last night I had a really big lot of pain and I was about 30 seconds away from calling an ambulance when it all stopped! I was lying on the floor by this stage, having a little teary and I thought bloody nora, if I ring them and it's nothing I will be so embarrassed, so I left it.

The pain was quite crushing, like someone had the middle of my chest in a vice. The pain radiated into my back and up into my jaw. It freaked me out to be honest and given my Dad's side of the family have a history of heart disease I took myself to the doctors today.

I've had a barrage of tests including an ECG and a heap of blood taken, plus I have to wear a little heart monitor with 7 leads for 24 hours.

To be honest, I don't think I've had a heart attack but then I don't really know what the heck is going on. One thing I do know is that I am well over my body and its ailments. Why can't I just get a common cold like everyone else huh?

I also found out that little Cooper died last week. He had a virus or some sort. I'm pretty upset that the little man is gone, he really was a cutie and he didn't deserve that :(

So tomorrow I will get my blood test results and they will send off the monitor readings to a cardiologist for interpreting. Maybe he'll do an interpretive dance? Those take 2 weeks to come back. Oh and my ECG today was normal however my blood pressure was high, or the diastolic reading was. Not that I know what that actually means, but given I'm on beta blockers my blood pressure should be low if anything. MEH.

Anywho, if everything's good I will be going to the ABC's Comedy Bites night tomorrow night, I need a laugh!

Happenings

2011-03-23T19:30:00.000+11:00

I've had a busy and relaxing few days. My good friend, Lauren, came down from Sydney on Sunday night and we've been hanging out and catching up. I hadn't seen her in 5ish years and she's had 2 kids in that time, so it was awesome to see each other again. We did a bit of shopping, a lot of eating, sleeping in and I even went and got my nipples re-pierced.... FINALLY!!!

My lovely cousin and his fiance gave birth to a baby boy on Monday, which is exciting news.

I haven't seen the baby as yet, but there's plenty of time to do that. He's got gorgeous pouty lips!

I am well and truly fed up with work (as usual). I've been having rostering issues for a few months now and just as they seemed to have fixed it up a week later they f*cked it even more royally than they've ever done. I am DESPERATE for a new job, I'm considering anything (as long as it pays similar), not just counselling jobs as I really really really need to leave. I have old fashioned values and believe that if you've been somewhere for so long (especially somewhere with such a high staff turnover) that you should garner some sort of loyalty or something. I dunno. My work just like to sh*t on everyone and I've had enough of being that person.

If you're not on my Faceache you probably didn't know that I no longer have the puppy. Well I don't. I don't really want to go into it here but I'm comfortable with the decision I had to make.

I've been offline for a few days now and I am slowly catching up on everyone's blogs. I need to go get some food, there's bugger all in the house and I'm hungry. *sighs*

olden days

2011-03-02T19:42:00.001+11:00

I picked up the last of my boxes from Dad's last week, they've been up there 6 or so years! There wasn't much of value in there, but I did discover a whole lot of photos, remember those days when we actually printed them? N'aaw. So I did a collage of them. They're probably only exciting to me, but if you're interested you can click through to flickr and read the tags.

some photos of my day

2011-02-16T20:00:00.000+11:00

Not long outta the shower and goofing about. It was a humid morning, well okay by the time I got going it was afternoon, but hey, I'm a night shift worker. Too hot to dry my hair, hence the wet & curls.

I went to the shops around 3pm. At this time of day the school Mums & toddlers have disappeared to pick up the school kids, so there is always ample parking. Today the clouds were putting on a wonderful show for me and I was grateful for remembering to chuck my little point & shoot into my handbag. My main purpose of going to the shops was to get a card & post it to my sister. Of course I left her address at home, so that was dumb of me. I did get the postage for it, so I can walk over to the post box down the road and post it later.

Later I decided to go for a walk on the beach and watch some storms coming in. I also noted the times which you could bring a dog to the beach! It was a lovely hour or so, ambling through the shallows, watching the lightning and listening to the thunder rolling about. I also took a photo for some nice asian tourist boys, they always make me laugh doing silly poses!! I came home when the rain got too heavy.

All in all it was a good day, such a shame I have to go back to work tomorrow.

what would YOU do?

2011-02-12T01:30:00.000+11:00

An acquaintance found an envelope containing $1500 in the street one day recently. There was a slip in it with a bunch of first names and amounts and that's it. It appeared to be money for people's pays. The person asked me what I would do with it and I replied that if I could not work out where it had come from I would hand it in to the police. My conscience simply would not allow me to keep that sort of money. $20 - $50 maybe, but not that much. I said to the person, if you lost that sort of money you would hope that someone else did the right thing and handed it in wouldn't you?

We asked around a bunch of other people and the replies were quite varied.

What would you do?

See I believe in karma and that if I didn't hand it in that something would happen to me. That's just me. I once found one of those key card holders with $1000 stuffed into it along with the key card. I handed it in to centre management in the shopping centre I was in and later got a phone call from them telling me that a very very thankful woman had claimed it, she'd withdrawn the money to pay for some of her husbands hospital bills. I was glad I did the right thing.

So blog pals, would you keep it or would you hand it in somewhere??

All hell broke loose

2011-02-05T00:54:00.006+11:00

Just before all hell broke loose

I took this pic tonight as I was driving to work. This is at the Centre Rd/Nepean Hwy intersection. I could tell we were in for a wild ride, I never guessed just how wild it was going to get.

I got to Elsternwick and the heavens opened. I quickly decided that I would pull in at the McDonalds on the corner of Glenhuntly Rd, so I parked and fled inside. Within a couple of minute there were waterfalls coming into the store via the light and airconditioning fittings. The mostly teenage staff began to panick and run about like headless chooks. I told them to turn off the lights and fled back to my car. I sat in there for about 10 minutes, debating what to do next. Glenhuntly Rd was a torrent, with the water rising fast. The Nepean Highway was also flooded, so I eased out onto the road and inched my way up to a friends house & pulled into her driveway. Visibility was about 2 metres if that, and the road was at least 3 - 4ft deep in water. I rang my friend and asked if she was home, thankfully she was and I went up to her apartment. I spent the next half an hour here, hanging out and peering out the window at the storm. I could see the road was still flooded, I watched a guy walk up the service road, up to his knees in water!

Eventually it seemed like things had eased off, so I set off again. I was a bit anxious, but what could I do. I needed to get to work and I figured turning around and going home was pointless as behind me was probably the same as ahead. So I pressed on. Brighton Rd was carnage. Trees down, flooded in sections, cars easing their way through. But we kept going and made it to the intersection of Punt Rd, Dandenong Rd & St Kilda Rd, the lights were on flash. Here I could see the traffic was gridlocked, so I made a nifty maneuvre over 6 lanes and took off up Punt Rd. I figured it was hilly here and things would be a bit better. Punt Road was moving well, still very wet, but we were going faster than I had been previously. I turned left into Domain Road, then right into Anderson St, then again stopped because visibility was atrocious. I waited another 5 mins until the rain eased and headed off again. From here the drive in was uneventful and flood free thank goodness. I got into work 2 hours after I left home!!!

I was listening to 774 ABC Melbourne on the way in and listened as they said that most of the roads I used to travel into work were 4ft underwater. Queens Road, Kings Way, St Kilda Rd, all flooded and blocked. The Monash was flooded, Eastlink was flooded and my Bayside area had copped the brunt of the storm. I hope my little house didn't leak and that my cat is high and dry!! It's on a slope so I know it won't flood, but it has leaked before. I guess I'll find out when I get home in the morning.

Queens Rd - no way would I drive in that!

rubbish!

2011-01-28T18:11:00.000+11:00

My area had its hard rubbish collection some months ago.

So why do residents insist on STILL putting their unwanted stuff on the nature strip? It's not just unloved old TV's, it's couches, tables, chairs, it's almost everything you would put out in a hard rubbish collection. It's not just here either, I see it all the way into the city on my drive to work and I noticed it around Brighton/Elsternwick when I took my car for a service last week.

Photo by my lovely flickr contact Mark Klotz

Are people really that lazy and sneaky that they simply dump their crap out the front now? Not only is it unsightly, it's also unsafe.

In fact now I think about it my neighbours did just this a few weeks back. They'd had a black office chair sitting out the front of their unit for a week or so, then magically one morning it was out on the nature strip. I had half a mind to wheel it all the way up the driveway and dump it back on their doorstep again. Lazy gits.

a lovely Wednesday

2011-01-19T21:10:00.000+11:00

Before we get started, if you didn't see my previous post working, it is now fixed and you can hear my rambling voice in all it's nasal glory. So please, feel free to go back and listen!

I had a lovely day today. I caught up with my ex and his new girlfriend (they've been in Australia for the last month) and we did a short wander around the city before heading into the Botanical Gardens for a beautiful afternoon in the sun. I really do forget just how lovely the gardens are, and serene too. We parked on the grass and lay in the sun for a few hours, chatting and relaxing. We also wandered up to Guilfoyle's Volcano Garden and checked that out. It's looking really good and some of those cacti are impressive, if not a bit scary! I loved the floating islands in the middle of the water. Good work indeed.

We then went to Fed Square for a bite to eat and I bid them farewell. Not sure when I'll get to see them again, it's been 2 years since I last saw him and having him back made me realise how much I miss having someone like him in my life. Not many have his get up and go, will happily go wandering for an afternoon or just relax somewhere. I miss that.

When I got home I had to have a shower to use my new body wash that I purchased from Aesop. It's Coriander Seed flavoured and smells wonderful (but is also damn expensive, hey, as long as it smells good right?). I feel like a right hippy when I use it!!

Now I'm parked on the couch with my cup of tea and with half an eye on the tennis. Channel 7 annoys me coz the words are never in time with the pictures, but only on the main channel, 73 & 73 are ok. Weird.